I’ve been a little disappointed with my main lady in the past few weeks, which has been (to no surprise) really good for my research. As I told you in previous posts, I am in a NPHC fraternity (I won’t tell you which) and there were brothers from out of town that I didn’t get to show a good time and I’m slightly upset about that.
That said…
My boy (the Natural from before) wanted to show me a good time so we decided to roll to this house party. We were invited by a mutual friend that had been invited by one of her friends. For the record, this is a dual-edged sword gaming at house parties. A PUA Savoy has stated (and I’ve found it to be true looking back), that house parties are good because everyone will think that you’re at least pretty cool because you got invited, but if you mess up a set really bad it can destroy your chances with the rest of the women at the party.
When we first arrived, it was a little slow. There weren’t that many people there yet and people knew, for a fact, that they had never seen us before. We looked like party-crashers. Of course, PUAs never really trip. I just introduced myself to everyone that appeared the most laid back and that pretty much diffused it. After doing so, I kind of broke one of the rules. You’re not supposed to drink before opening a set. The Natural wanted to take advantage of the free alcohol and I refused to let him drink alone ;) After three shots, we got back into it.
Sidebar:
There is this revolution in pick up going around (not really). It basically revolves around you actually enjoying yourself. Yes, YOU actually enjoying YOUR SELF. I know, I joke I joke. I kid, I kid. What I’m saying, though, is by actually having fun when you go out and being social because you want to (you HAVE to get to this point I believe to get really good), you won’t have to worry about appearing needy or your body language because it will become natural…and that’s where we want to get anyway right?
Back to the story…
We get back into it, and there’s this drinking game going on. We participate and a few girls do also. I spot a lady I want to approach. She’s about 5’6 feet, light skinned, cute face, as body like she works out, and appears to have a more professional appeal to her than hood. I tease her about watching the game by telling her drinking games aren’t spectator sports. I joke with her until she decides to play. Because of the nature of the game we were playing, I couldn’t run normal game on her. So I continued to flirt and she did also. It’s going back and forth and the Natural starts to flirt with her also. It’s funny because I’ve kept things pretty neutral up until now due to the fact she hasn’t invested enough to warrant a statement of interest (basically completely letting her know I’m feeling her). The Natural is indicating too much interest too soon. It borders on the “just put my bid in” mentality. She’s starting to not feel comfortable being around. After the game, I follow up with a little screening dialogue (How did you know about the party, etc.). I feel someone watching me and it’s a very metro sexual guy. He looks like one of those guys that tried out for Day 26 and got cut. “Oh yeah. That’s my boyfriend.” I don’t like hard work. I move on.
We go down to play pool for a bit with a couple guys that were in the drinking game. They’re telling me about a tattoo party and I’m interested. You wouldn’t know it if you seen me, but I have eight tattoos and a brand (they’re addictive). I took their contact info and kept it moving.
In a new set with a new group of girls. It’s three of them, only two are cute though. One has real bad acne, but she’s real cool. The one I was going after was about 5’5 feet, dark skinned, dressed well, but a little hood. Her lips stood out along with her attitude. The group didn’t hook though. The one I wanted was used to being the “cute one” and it had gone to her head. I couldn’t swing it.
I’m back with the girl who invited our friend to the party. I find out this is an Air Force party and they’re throwing it for a girl that’s re-stationing. I get excited. For one, I’m prior service and for two that gives me conversational ammunition (Where are you originally from, etc.).
Fight breaks out.
We get back to partying and I see a girl I had approached in college that didn’t work. I can tell I’m obviously doing better than she, but why rub it in her face. My actions already are. She knows she missed out ;) I meet two girls, both Air Force, and they’re both from down south. I opened with worst pick up line. Teased about them going AF instead of Army. Joked about them being involved in the fight. Befriend and pretend to like friend more than the one I want. Ask the one I’m interested in if she’s really got to see the area (Most military people hang with military people. They don’t get to see how a town really is because they don’t know anyone from the area.). Then I contact info close.
Another fight breaks out.
I see another lady I want to approach. She’s 5’9, wide hips, light-skinned, beautiful, with nice lips, and the professional type. I open by asking did she see the fight. She’s seated and away from everyone else so I tease her by saying she threw the party and now she’s chaperoning it. I fake cold read, “Wait…you’re in the Air Force aren’t you”. Chat it up about us both having a military background. I ask where she’s originally from. She’s from North Carolina and that’s where I’m relocating later in the year. I jump into a role-play. “If in NC and somebody bump me, will this thug face get me out of a fight.” Of course, I can’t stay hard and we’re laughing about it. I broke through the defenses. I’m trying to escalate, and then I see the ring. She tells me she’s married to a Marine. I don’t mess with marriage…boyfriends, but not husbands. Games over, but I do a little more comfort. I tell her I’ll save her from the Souldja Boyz that try to get at her. Later on I use her for social proof, by smiling or sticking my tongue out at her jokingly while in other sets (of course she responds favorably).
Oh yeah…remember the guy fake R&B singer? So we practiced a little AMOG’ing. The Natural got at my initial target while I spoke to “Chico”. Can’t really get into specifics because I don’t really know what we were doing. It was just funny.
The LAST fight of the night.
The police came. We left. It was crazy. The whole party just started fighting. Why? Know one knows. No one swung on any of my people so we pretty much let things go. The people that tried to break up the fight ended getting in fights themselves. I don’t do too much of that anymore. People that break up fights get shot.
Overall good night. Ol’ girl already contacted me as of writing this. Good stuff. You just have to keep going out to keep getting better.
Play The Game Fair.
Chris
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Grinds My Gears (Pt. 2)
Some of you this will apply to and some of you it won’t. I just have to get this off my chest really quickly because it has really really bothered me for a long time.
I love women. I’m attracted to all races of women. I don’t discriminate.
I do have a type. I usually go for tall, dark-skinned women (of African descent or Black) with wide hips. Having breasts and a butt are great, but that’s not what I go crazy for. Those are the physical things I like. The intangibles are a little bit longer. It’s probably best to write that list down so you know Mrs. Right when you meet her…
I digress…
This is what grinds my gears. Men that are ashamed of the women they date. As a general rule, if you would be ashamed to take her out, you shouldn’t date her. My big issue is with the interracial daters though.
Let’s consider the worst case scenario you would go through for dating outside your race. Your boys crack jokes. Your family cracks jokes. Random Black women you don’t know look at you funny. That’s about it…
Let’s consider the worst case scenario the woman outside your race would go through. Random Black women she doesn’t know look at her funny. The men and women of her race look at her funny. Her girls crack jokes about you. Her family DISOWNS HER.
She clearly has more to lose.
Unfortunately, even if you are doing well for yourself, it is seen as “marrying down” or “marrying beneath you” to date a Black man to many other races. A woman that’s not Black has to put up with a lot of mess to get at you.
DON’T MAKE IT WORSE BY NOT WANTING TO TAKE HER OUT IN PUBLIC.
That really makes you look weak. If you don’t feel comfortable taking her out in public…just don’t do it. Especially with interracial dating. Just don’t date outside your race. I’ve seen it happen a few times and I don’t think it’s cool at all. Ok...I’m done venting.
Play The Game Fair.
Chris
I love women. I’m attracted to all races of women. I don’t discriminate.
I do have a type. I usually go for tall, dark-skinned women (of African descent or Black) with wide hips. Having breasts and a butt are great, but that’s not what I go crazy for. Those are the physical things I like. The intangibles are a little bit longer. It’s probably best to write that list down so you know Mrs. Right when you meet her…
I digress…
This is what grinds my gears. Men that are ashamed of the women they date. As a general rule, if you would be ashamed to take her out, you shouldn’t date her. My big issue is with the interracial daters though.
Let’s consider the worst case scenario you would go through for dating outside your race. Your boys crack jokes. Your family cracks jokes. Random Black women you don’t know look at you funny. That’s about it…
Let’s consider the worst case scenario the woman outside your race would go through. Random Black women she doesn’t know look at her funny. The men and women of her race look at her funny. Her girls crack jokes about you. Her family DISOWNS HER.
She clearly has more to lose.
Unfortunately, even if you are doing well for yourself, it is seen as “marrying down” or “marrying beneath you” to date a Black man to many other races. A woman that’s not Black has to put up with a lot of mess to get at you.
DON’T MAKE IT WORSE BY NOT WANTING TO TAKE HER OUT IN PUBLIC.
That really makes you look weak. If you don’t feel comfortable taking her out in public…just don’t do it. Especially with interracial dating. Just don’t date outside your race. I’ve seen it happen a few times and I don’t think it’s cool at all. Ok...I’m done venting.
Play The Game Fair.
Chris
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Semi-Perfect Date
Often PUA’s say that the best way to ensure that your first date ends in a bedroom (preferably yours) is through multi-venue dates. The theory sounded pretty good, but I hadn’t tried it out until last weekend.
What was the result?
You can pretty much quote me on this. “On everything I love, I will never take a woman I haven’t slept with on a one-venue date again.” There. I said it and the whole world knows.
Why would I do this?
This answer is very simple. It works like a charm. It’s almost too easy. And when I really think about it (you try to think back also)…anytime I slept with a woman on the first date, we had been to a few venues that evening. I can only think of one situation where it didn’t happen that way.
The theory behind it is that through the multiple venues it gives the illusion that the two of you have know each other for a longer period of time. What’s the biggest reason a woman can’t have sex with a man she’s attracted to? She hasn’t known the man well enough to do so without appearing like a whore.
By continuing to different venues it accomplishes many things. For one, it acknowledges that she really likes you (because she would’ve asked to be taken home if she wasn’t enjoying herself), that you really like her (for the same reasons), it establishes you as a leader through taking her to these different places and experiences, and, more importantly, it gives you two both time to appreciate each other for more than just appearance.
Sidebar:
First dates should not be dinner and a movie…EVER. If you must, incorporate just one into the other venues planned. By going to both, you formally set this “date” attitude (or frame as it is called). It’ll take a lot longer to get where you’re trying to go this way. Go to fun or social places. Pool halls, howling alleys, a bar (not a club), one of those rock climbing places (not an actual mountain), your friend’s house party, etc…
On to my successful date…
“Sheila” and I were supposed to meet up at 9pm. I had been to work earlier and spent time with my family right after. I still wasn’t dressed. I came in, socialized with her roommate and her man for a while. We left shortly after.
I took her to my place, briefly showed her around, and then proceeded to shower. This gave her time to get comfortable in my place. I came down after getting dressed and we were off.
I told her I had movies to return. When we got there, Sheila and I went in to pick out a movie. While doing so, I ran “Rings on Fingers” and pretended to the store clerk that we had been together for years.
We hit the bowling alley next. This was mainly just a lot of comfort stuff. I did a lot of joking with the people bowling next to us, betting a kiss on the cheek for the next strike, and more of the like. I believe I kissed her when we got back in the car (it was the earlies opportunity).
Next, we went to a pool hall. Most times the woman doesn’t know how to play (or acts like she doesn’t). Instead of grinding on her ass and not really helping, I give her a couple pointers. She’s happy that she’s improving and I’m, “happy to see you’re good at taking directions”.
Sheila and I head back to my house. I put in the movie that I rented. The lights are off of course and we’re both under the covers. Kissing. Pay attention to the movie. Kissing. Back to the movie. I did that about three more times and then we went all the way.
Now for your objections. Some would think that this would be a very long night. Not really. All you have to do is spend an hour at a place and then go to another. If you started a 9pm, you can go everywhere by midnight or 1am. Some would think this would be expensive going on multi-venue dates. It really isn’t. The movies can run you about $15 to $20. A Friday’s or Applebee’s will cost about $20 to $30. Those are all low ball numbers. $35 to $50 for a low to no value date. If you look above, we went to six places without trying (Her place, my place, movie store, bowling alley, pool hall, my place). I spent $23 out of pocket and had a quality evening ($13 at the bowling alley, $5 movie rental, $5 at the pool hall).
Now this isn’t about penny pinching. All I’m saying is look at the value of what you’re doing. It is a recession. You could spend $50 to get a hug at the end of the night…maybe. Or you could spend $20 and have someone to keep you warm in bed.
Play The Game Fair.
Chris
What was the result?
You can pretty much quote me on this. “On everything I love, I will never take a woman I haven’t slept with on a one-venue date again.” There. I said it and the whole world knows.
Why would I do this?
This answer is very simple. It works like a charm. It’s almost too easy. And when I really think about it (you try to think back also)…anytime I slept with a woman on the first date, we had been to a few venues that evening. I can only think of one situation where it didn’t happen that way.
The theory behind it is that through the multiple venues it gives the illusion that the two of you have know each other for a longer period of time. What’s the biggest reason a woman can’t have sex with a man she’s attracted to? She hasn’t known the man well enough to do so without appearing like a whore.
By continuing to different venues it accomplishes many things. For one, it acknowledges that she really likes you (because she would’ve asked to be taken home if she wasn’t enjoying herself), that you really like her (for the same reasons), it establishes you as a leader through taking her to these different places and experiences, and, more importantly, it gives you two both time to appreciate each other for more than just appearance.
Sidebar:
First dates should not be dinner and a movie…EVER. If you must, incorporate just one into the other venues planned. By going to both, you formally set this “date” attitude (or frame as it is called). It’ll take a lot longer to get where you’re trying to go this way. Go to fun or social places. Pool halls, howling alleys, a bar (not a club), one of those rock climbing places (not an actual mountain), your friend’s house party, etc…
On to my successful date…
“Sheila” and I were supposed to meet up at 9pm. I had been to work earlier and spent time with my family right after. I still wasn’t dressed. I came in, socialized with her roommate and her man for a while. We left shortly after.
I took her to my place, briefly showed her around, and then proceeded to shower. This gave her time to get comfortable in my place. I came down after getting dressed and we were off.
I told her I had movies to return. When we got there, Sheila and I went in to pick out a movie. While doing so, I ran “Rings on Fingers” and pretended to the store clerk that we had been together for years.
We hit the bowling alley next. This was mainly just a lot of comfort stuff. I did a lot of joking with the people bowling next to us, betting a kiss on the cheek for the next strike, and more of the like. I believe I kissed her when we got back in the car (it was the earlies opportunity).
Next, we went to a pool hall. Most times the woman doesn’t know how to play (or acts like she doesn’t). Instead of grinding on her ass and not really helping, I give her a couple pointers. She’s happy that she’s improving and I’m, “happy to see you’re good at taking directions”.
Sheila and I head back to my house. I put in the movie that I rented. The lights are off of course and we’re both under the covers. Kissing. Pay attention to the movie. Kissing. Back to the movie. I did that about three more times and then we went all the way.
Now for your objections. Some would think that this would be a very long night. Not really. All you have to do is spend an hour at a place and then go to another. If you started a 9pm, you can go everywhere by midnight or 1am. Some would think this would be expensive going on multi-venue dates. It really isn’t. The movies can run you about $15 to $20. A Friday’s or Applebee’s will cost about $20 to $30. Those are all low ball numbers. $35 to $50 for a low to no value date. If you look above, we went to six places without trying (Her place, my place, movie store, bowling alley, pool hall, my place). I spent $23 out of pocket and had a quality evening ($13 at the bowling alley, $5 movie rental, $5 at the pool hall).
Now this isn’t about penny pinching. All I’m saying is look at the value of what you’re doing. It is a recession. You could spend $50 to get a hug at the end of the night…maybe. Or you could spend $20 and have someone to keep you warm in bed.
Play The Game Fair.
Chris
Friday, March 6, 2009
Old Routine
Ok...
I'm not using these talk points anymore so you guys can use them. Maybe you can get an idea of how these routines work and how to use them. Please don't blatently copy. Try to get your own if you can. If you can't...use these until then.
The "Strawberry Field" routine and "Rings on Fingers" stuff can be found all over the internet. I'm too lazy to type the stuff out ;)
DHV's are demostrations of higher value (credit Mystery). All that means is that you are showing the woman that you're not like every other guy. Qualifiers show her you have standards and disqualifiers show her that you're not interested. We do that just so we can game her without her defenses coming up.
Please remember that the only reasons routines are used are so 1) we can focus on the interaction instead of what to say next and 2) so we can practice enough to become full on naturals.
Once you get to that point...you won't need to use "lines" and the like anymore.
That said...
Open:
-Help me win this bet…
-Is it okay to be superficial…
-Who lies more…?
-You seem cool. I had to come over to say hi.
Time Constraint:
-Gotta get back to my friends…
Open:
-Worst pick-up line?
Neg (Here or before 2nd Open):
-Is she always like this?
DHV:
-Atlanta Greek picnic socialize story…
*Seed date*
Group:
-How do you all know each other?
Neg:
-Coolest girls I’ve met…in the last 30 seconds.
DHV:
-I really think we’re vibing. I bet y’all that I can read your mind. Pick a number between one and ten. Seven?
Time Constraint:
-I gotta get going…
Isolation:
-Since y’all been holding me up, why don’t y’all let (blank) go with me to talk to my friends?
*Rings on Fingers Routine with a seg way into Strawberry Fields*
Jealousy thread:
-Brief introduction to male and female stranger.
Vulnerability:
-I used to be shy around people.
IOI-IOD:
-I like hanging out with you. Too bad you’re not my type.
Return:
(Tell friends we like each other jokingly)
Exit:
-Nice meeting you (and enter new set).
Hope this helps...
Play The Game Fair.
Chris
I'm not using these talk points anymore so you guys can use them. Maybe you can get an idea of how these routines work and how to use them. Please don't blatently copy. Try to get your own if you can. If you can't...use these until then.
The "Strawberry Field" routine and "Rings on Fingers" stuff can be found all over the internet. I'm too lazy to type the stuff out ;)
DHV's are demostrations of higher value (credit Mystery). All that means is that you are showing the woman that you're not like every other guy. Qualifiers show her you have standards and disqualifiers show her that you're not interested. We do that just so we can game her without her defenses coming up.
Please remember that the only reasons routines are used are so 1) we can focus on the interaction instead of what to say next and 2) so we can practice enough to become full on naturals.
Once you get to that point...you won't need to use "lines" and the like anymore.
That said...
Open:
-Help me win this bet…
-Is it okay to be superficial…
-Who lies more…?
-You seem cool. I had to come over to say hi.
Time Constraint:
-Gotta get back to my friends…
Open:
-Worst pick-up line?
Neg (Here or before 2nd Open):
-Is she always like this?
DHV:
-Atlanta Greek picnic socialize story…
*Seed date*
Group:
-How do you all know each other?
Neg:
-Coolest girls I’ve met…in the last 30 seconds.
DHV:
-I really think we’re vibing. I bet y’all that I can read your mind. Pick a number between one and ten. Seven?
Time Constraint:
-I gotta get going…
Isolation:
-Since y’all been holding me up, why don’t y’all let (blank) go with me to talk to my friends?
*Rings on Fingers Routine with a seg way into Strawberry Fields*
Jealousy thread:
-Brief introduction to male and female stranger.
Vulnerability:
-I used to be shy around people.
IOI-IOD:
-I like hanging out with you. Too bad you’re not my type.
Return:
(Tell friends we like each other jokingly)
Exit:
-Nice meeting you (and enter new set).
Hope this helps...
Play The Game Fair.
Chris
Thursday, March 5, 2009
PUA vs. Natural
I got to hang out with one of my good friends this weekend.
He’s a good guy and a flawless natural. When I started this experiment I wanted to go out every night with him and, while he did what he normally does, I would adjust my game every week so we could compare results.
Unfortunately, our work schedules SIGNIFICANTLY conflict. I was happy just to kick it with my homey.
That said…
While we were out I noticed a couple differences in how he and I approach this dating/courting process.
Opening/Conversation Starters:
Natural (Him) - My friend always seemed to be waiting and looking for an opening. He spent a lot of time looking for eye contact and other indicators of interest before he would interact with any of the women at the venue.
PUA (Me) – I still have a little approach anxiety, but, for the most part, if I see a woman I want to say something to…I do. I initiated more conversations and met more people than my friend.
Mid-game/Actual Conversation:
Natural – He’s been doing this for a long time. Once he gets into an interaction, he can really get it going. He’s good, but many times he doesn’t have an end goal in mind (which screws him in my opinion)...
PUA – I’m starting to get good. I can keep everything light, fun, and pique women’s interest. That night, thought, my friend often would come in to my groups (because I had opened more than he had) and unintentionally go for my target or dominate the following conversations. I don’t blame him though. There are rules to this…but he doesn’t know them yet.
Closing:
Natural – No luck. He pretty much bet all his chips on one group, and they flaked. He has a decent killer instinct, but I believe he just misread the group.
PUA – I won’t lie. I was very lazy that night. I should’ve tried to get a number or meet someone later…but I didn’t. I had one that I had gotten pretty attracted, but I later found out one of my other friends had been trying to get at her night and I really didn’t want to take her from him ;)
In other news…
I guess I’ve learned through this experiment to force yourself talk to multiple groups. It makes you look connected and if one group falls off, you got other ones. Many guys, when they go out and get a positive reaction from some women, stop speaking to the rest of the women in the club because they’re afraid they’ll mess things up with the women they’ve “got in good” with.
Who cares?
When you think about it, you can only build your social value…it’s “social” value. You get it from being social. Plus, she just met you and you just met her. There shouldn’t be that much of a fear of loss.
Play The Game Fair.
Chris
He’s a good guy and a flawless natural. When I started this experiment I wanted to go out every night with him and, while he did what he normally does, I would adjust my game every week so we could compare results.
Unfortunately, our work schedules SIGNIFICANTLY conflict. I was happy just to kick it with my homey.
That said…
While we were out I noticed a couple differences in how he and I approach this dating/courting process.
Opening/Conversation Starters:
Natural (Him) - My friend always seemed to be waiting and looking for an opening. He spent a lot of time looking for eye contact and other indicators of interest before he would interact with any of the women at the venue.
PUA (Me) – I still have a little approach anxiety, but, for the most part, if I see a woman I want to say something to…I do. I initiated more conversations and met more people than my friend.
Mid-game/Actual Conversation:
Natural – He’s been doing this for a long time. Once he gets into an interaction, he can really get it going. He’s good, but many times he doesn’t have an end goal in mind (which screws him in my opinion)...
PUA – I’m starting to get good. I can keep everything light, fun, and pique women’s interest. That night, thought, my friend often would come in to my groups (because I had opened more than he had) and unintentionally go for my target or dominate the following conversations. I don’t blame him though. There are rules to this…but he doesn’t know them yet.
Closing:
Natural – No luck. He pretty much bet all his chips on one group, and they flaked. He has a decent killer instinct, but I believe he just misread the group.
PUA – I won’t lie. I was very lazy that night. I should’ve tried to get a number or meet someone later…but I didn’t. I had one that I had gotten pretty attracted, but I later found out one of my other friends had been trying to get at her night and I really didn’t want to take her from him ;)
In other news…
I guess I’ve learned through this experiment to force yourself talk to multiple groups. It makes you look connected and if one group falls off, you got other ones. Many guys, when they go out and get a positive reaction from some women, stop speaking to the rest of the women in the club because they’re afraid they’ll mess things up with the women they’ve “got in good” with.
Who cares?
When you think about it, you can only build your social value…it’s “social” value. You get it from being social. Plus, she just met you and you just met her. There shouldn’t be that much of a fear of loss.
Play The Game Fair.
Chris
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