Steve Harvey

I know this is a late response, but, nonetheless, it should be addressed. I’m starting to see a lot of single women really taking this advice to heart. I know Steve Harvey means well, but I’m not sure the advice he’s giving is really going to benefit women in the long run.

One of the big things that I noticed in the book was that he proposes women take a very aggressive stance in their relationships. By aggressive I mean that he advises women, early on, to ask the men that they’re dating what are their “specific” intentions with her.

I disagree.

If haven’t even got to know you…how do you expect me to know what I want to do with you? It doesn’t make much sense in my opinion.

Also, there is a 90 day rule that he strongly demands women adhere to. I’m a little weary of any hard fast unbreakable rule when it comes to relationships. Steve Harvey defends this argument by stating that when he worked at Ford, they didn’t give him any “benefits” until after 90 days. I think a better analogy would be pay (wages).

I doubt Steve Harvey would’ve worked for a company for three months without being paid. He would’ve waited the customary two to three weeks to get all formalities out of the way (for Ford, the paperwork to send the check and for a woman, the necessary dates for her to believe you won’t perceive her as a hoe). If not paid after that period of time Steve would’ve a) left the job, b) raised hell about not being paid, or c) both.

As I said before, I think Steve means well. Things are a little bit different these days though. He is slightly older than the majority of the single crowd now. Things have changed.

“Play or Be Played” is a better book for Black women to read. If you guys have time you should check it out as well.

Play The Game Fair.

Chris

Struck Out WR 9

FYI…this is not just the 9th time I’ve gone out. But I had to start using the moniker (title) again because I had stopped for a while.


Maybe I’m rusty. Maybe this is what I get for “winging it” and not using any of my material. I got nowhere. Literally, if it could’ve went wrong, it did.


No numbers. Very few laughs. Almost got a drink in the face. I’m not sure what happened, but I am certain about this.


I’M GOING BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD!!! I’m getting re-focused and I’ll keep you guys posted.



Play The Game Fair.


Chris

Tired…

There is a movement going on.

Well…not really.

I went to rent a movie the other day and I came across the film called, “Diary of a Tired Black Man”. The premise is basically that there is this good black man looking for a good black woman, but all he meets is the bad ones. The film sort of (in a way) levels the playing field for black men that get barraged by “Waiting to Exhale”-type movies.


I personally hate extremes. Tyler Perry’s version catered to all the women that have constantly had bad experiences with men and this movie that I’ve mentioned caters to all the “nice guys” that have been taken advantage of by black women. In my opinion (and I’m no expert at anything), people do have a tendency to attract or like a certain type of person…and they repeatedly date that type.


If a women keeps getting no-good type of guys, maybe she’s not as good as she thinks. If all you date is low self-esteem women, you have to ask yourself what issues do you have.

Sidebar:

Longer term relationships don’t count. Women always need constant approval and reassurance that you still care and find them attractive (that’s being a woman, not having self-esteem issues). And during that relationship, she WILL do something that you deem crazy ;)

The men that have these issues have a good chance of being what we were before becoming more social and learning more about dating. Women like a challenge and being completely “nice” is either boring or stalker-ishly scary.

That’s all I have about that subject, but I just would like you guys to think about this though.


Men rarely watch or buy relationship movies unless they’re with a woman. Women watch, listen, and purchase music and movies about relationships all the time (whether they are with/have a man or not). Does it not surprise you that there is so much more music and so many movies about bad relationships directed towards us?

I imagine that if we paid for this Usher divorce CD he’s about to come out with, there would be more of its type in the market.

Play The Game Fair.

Chris

Social Circle Update

Been busy as all hell (what else is new)…ah well. Such is life. Haven’t had a lot of field time in cold approach so I’ve been trying to improve my social circle abilities. I have to say that it is very interesting. It’s more of a networking idea with just a social goal.


A PUA Braddock from Love Systems has come up with a lot of stuff for this. Google him and you’ll find all you need. Understand this…social circle CAN be easier. It usually is. Most people meet their girlfriends and wives this way. In college, I met all the girls I talked to this way. It honestly made me lazy. Now I’m doing the post-college rebuild thing.

Seeing how it made me lazy and made cold approach hard for me…this might explain why many guys get married soon after college. It’s a little harder now.


One request though. Before you start doing all the stuff that Braddock suggests, just try showing love.


For real. Don’t be a kiss ass. Just show genuine appreciation. You’ll be surprised how people react. Show love and remember people’s names…then watch how people start react to you. Humans are naturally self-centered. When you think of other people, for some odd reason, they want to be around you more. It worked very well while I was in Buenos Aires and it’s starting to help here as well.


How is everything working for me?

Professionally, it is helping immensely. My relationships with co-workers and my superiors are making great strides. Random guys that I’m around are wanting to hang out a lot more (no homo), which I didn’t expect. It’s funny because I really don’t have the time. Women that I used to be on the “hi and bye” basis with are trying to vibe.


Downsides?

With cold approach there is a certain point when you pull the trigger. And you know when that is…as soon as you possibly can ;) Always be escalating and closing right? Well with social circle I’m never really sure when. It’s weird. Furthermore, if you blow out of a group in cold approach you just go to a new one. You’re never going to see this person again. In social circle, odds are you’ll see this person every week after. It also takes a decent amount of time to set up a social circle how you want it.


It’s cool though. I’m going to conquer this monster just like I’m going to conquer cold approach. Will keep you updated as always.



Play The Game Fair.



Chris

Answer to an Email

I got an email regarding some last minute resistance that a reader was catching. I thought the response might help others. So here the email (in entirety) goes...

LMR, LMR, LMR. We all hate it honestly. Analyzing the issue you're having is really hard because you never really know what she needs. In essence though, thats always the problem. The woman hasn't had all her needs met that she requires to sleep with you.


The biggest issues that people usually run across are, "I need to know more about you", "I don't want you to leave", and "I don't want you to think I'm a hoe". Fortunately, Sinn, Mystery, and Captain Jack have answered these for us. In a selling situation you want to answer any objections before they come up. Do that with these situations as well. Sinn believes you should tell them how many brothers and sisters you have, what you do for work, etc. so she feels like she knows you better. Mystery usually has comfort stories prepared that lets the woman know that its not all just sexual with her (and because of that, you're likely to stay around). Captain Jack strongly believes that you keep a very strong "non-judgemental" frame and tell stories displaying your ability to keep secrets so that she can be her sexual self with you without consequences.


You can get know her, know her better, and be a friend while having sex with her. Husbands and wives are usually each other's best friend and partner. And you can't have a cut buddy without the buddy ;)

Now me personally, I like to run through the whole process rather quickly. If it doesn't happen by 3rd date, I distance myself (DONT cut them off). Let them know what they're missing. Also, don't be afraid to let things go.

Pick up is all about letting things happen smoothly. If they're not...and you're catching LMR, odds are you messed up somewhere early on. I hope this answered your question. I honestly don't deal with LMR that much.

Play The Game Fair.

Chris

P.S. I'm going to make this a post. Thanks.

Crazy Night (WR 8)

There will probably be a few tangents in this post. I apologize beforehand.


Sidebar:

I’m NOT balling, I’m an average dude just making like you all. I noticed that I mentioned my leaving the country for a month, my boy getting promoted, and this story partially dealing with another friend of mine returning from Morocco. I just needed to clear that up.

So…

My friend just got back from Morocco. Granted, he had taken a couple stops to France and Spain respectively…that’s his thing. So now we’re out getting his first beers back in the states. Gamed only when I was opened by women. Honestly, me and this guy had a lot to catch up on.

Met the manager of the venue. We talked for a minute. I’m trying to throw a pretty good party before I move in a couple months. Saw a girl and her friend that I had met out early on in the experiment. Before I thought that she was interested in my friend, so I fell back (won’t assume again). We exchanged the usual info and she told me that she’ll make sure to get up with me.

Cool.

Sometimes it’s better to go out by yourself when you’re trying to practice, but I’ve noticed something. If you have a couple of good dudes with you, you can make it work. “Fam, you point a female and I have to approach her. Then I’ll point one out, and you have to do the same thing.” It’ll work if you have some social dudes in your circle.

Fun. Fun. Fun. If you’re over-thinking in the field, stop. That’s not the time. Practice and have fun. That’s it. I’m guilty of it sometimes too. There was a guy at the club with NO game. Kind of chubby, plain clothes (nothing that stood out), and couldn’t dance to save his life ;) Was having a great time though. Tall dude was there as well. Ed Hardy everything on, new shoes, no smile on his face, and stayed posted on the wall almost the whole night. Who pulled more? Who had better results? Exactly. If you’re not having a good time, you’re doing something wrong.

One more thing before I leave you guys though.


It’s getting to be a little after 1am. I’m having a good time. I think that I’m still carrying the social proof from the 2 females from earlier and the manager. One of the tease-types (about a 7, 6.5) we talked about in a previous post starts eyeing me.

She comes over and starts grinding on me…heavy. Whispering in the ear, a kiss on the neck, I don’t usually allow all this to go on (without acting like I have some standards), but what the hell. Now we’re kissing by the wall on the dance floor.

No names have been exchanged yet. Her hand grazes the penis. I put my hand on her thigh. I look at her mouth and she’s got a tongue ring. She’s playing with it while looking me in the eyes. Yeah…she’s going home tonight and he’s going to show me if she really knows how to use that ;)


Her head goes down. I think she’s trying to see what she’s getting later. “You good?” “Yeah, I’m fine.” Five minutes later. “You sure you straight?” She throws up next to me. Some gets on my jeans.


Needless to say, that was the end of my night. I headed straight to the exit.
If it seems too good…it probably is.


Play The Game Fair.


Chris

What HS Reunions Mean

A couple of weeks ago one of the high schools I went to (I went to two high schools. One for freshman and sophomore years and then I transferred to the other one) had their 5 year reunion.


I was very excited to go. I was really eager to see how well everyone was doing, but the big thing for me was to see how I was treated. 5 years has passed. People grown and change, but the people that knew you in high school usually will treat you like the person that they saw you as in high school.

Thankfully, everyone I got to talk to showed me much love. Then again, I made it a point to show love to everyone…no matter if we were tight way back when or if they didn’t have anything going for themselves whatsoever ;)


I flirted a little bit and ran a couple routines, but only playfully. Unfortunately, many of the women that came were with someone.

Sidebar:

The joke of the night was one of the former cheerleaders who had gotten breast implants. Everyone was asking each other if they remembered if she had breasts back then. Whatever…

People are doing well though. One guy is playing poker professionally and three are trying out for professional teams right now. I know they could be lying, but I’m going to choose to believe ;)
The point of this post, though, was that some old friends might not accept the new you that you’re trying to become. They’re comfortable with the you they know now. They might even try to hinder your progress.

If that’s the situation, you have to keep those people away from you. You don’t have to cut them off…but I would.


Play The Game Fair.


Chris

Good Gets Better (WR 7)

I noticed that I had stopped using the “WR” on actual nights when I go out. I’ll be bringing it back. The reports are kind of behind (meaning I did them and didn’t get to writing them). Bear with me.


I know…

Lately, I haven’t been going out to strictly game. I’ve been more focused on showing my guys a good time. It’s cool though. You need to be having fun when you’re out and that’s what I’m up to.

One of my co-workers, “Cam”, just got promoted. Of course we ended up going out to celebrate it. We went to a small bar. When we go in, who do we see but another co-worker. Work-related stories, jokes, and the like turn one beer into ten. Time passes…


I look at my watch and I can’t believe that it’s that late. Another wasted night.

The co-worker we met there offers us to hang out at his spot, but I wasn’t on it. Wasn’t really ready to leave yet. Ah well.

I look over at Cam…he’s been eyeing this one girl for a while (didn’t have the heart to tell him he was starting to appear stalker-ish). I told him to approach. He wouldn’t do it…and I know you all are not surprised by this. I tell him that isn’t that bad or THAT hard (talking to women that is).
Now I can’t remember if he pointed a group out or I did, but I went over and just started talking. He watched. I felt like I was being challenged ;)

I tried very hard not to use any set routines. No unfair advantages because I wanted to do something that he could’ve done. I told a couple stories, but nothing scripted (if you practice enough you just get better at telling stories).

I remember something early on set the conversation off. I told her she looked like she was from the West Coast. Turns out she had lived in Hawaii the past few years before moving to the city. Cool.

Sidebar:

I didn’t pull this out of my butt. She looked from the West Coast. You can get good at these types of cold-reads by throwing some out there and getting a response. You do it enough you can get a feel for it.


What I learned from this:

This exercise did help with that, “running out of things to say” thing. OSC. Observation. Story. Comment. Observe something on her or about her, tell a relevant story about it (please let it be something half-way interesting), and let her comment. You can run this a few times ‘til she bites on a particular topic.



I’m feeling lazy though. I’m not going to describe here. She was tall and I would’ve rated her a 7.5. We did the contact info thing, but I couldn’t follow up. Left for about a week and came back. I didn’t feel like the connection was that strong to make it happen.


That’s all I got.


Play The Game Fair.


Chris

The Rare Vent…

Just real short…I think.

I need to get this off my chest.

So I was reading some of the message boards of these forums, seeing if there is some stuff I can use. A big thing that keeps coming up is that risk of being caught using routines.


WHAT!?!


First off, everyone…and when I say everyone I mean EVERYONE that is good with women has stuff that he repeats to women. Whether it be this one joke, a funny story, or the way he sets a girl up for the first kiss.


ALL OF THAT STUFF IS A ROUTINE!!!


The issue is the idea of manipulation by practicing it and spreading the info to others. We don’t lie and that’s all I’m concerned with.

Secondly, I “believe”, if I haven’t written it I meant to, I have stressed how important is to have your OWN ROUTINE. You’ll never come off as genuine using somebody else’s material as you will your own. You’ll own the stories because they’re yours. Also, you’ll be able to paraphrase or lengthen it and not worry about remembering.


Lastly, when you’re asked, “Do you practice this?” or “Is this a pick-up line?”, you’re either doing really bad or really really good. You can tell if it’s the latter if you start catching A LOT of IOI’s. When that happens, what’s basically going on is the women can’t believe that she likes you this much and she just met you…

We all are trying to get that problem ;)


Play The Game Fair.

Chris

Getting Back Into It

It’s funny.


Once you start to get a grip of what you’re doing...I think it’s like riding a bike. I was out with my guys. We went to basically just to catch up. It was good times. The waitress seemed to be off…like having a bad day (She was forgetting stuff, coming to check on us late, etc.).


I’ve been reading, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. It’s a good book. It’s not manipulative either. It’s primarily about being a genuine dude and showing love to people. The book just illustrates how far doing that can take you.

So I cheered her up…teasing her every time she got something wrong. Later she sat down with us.

She was a tall, cute, blonde about 5’11 in flats. Of course she’s not wearing heels because she’s a waitress and on her feet all day (I don’t know if guys remember, but I am so an equal opportunity dater). I usually don’t mess with blondes. I love tall, dark-skinned women, with wide hips, but she’s got 2 out of 3 ;)


I say to myself, “What the Hell” and start running material. Push-pull initially, then a new Argentina story, go into turning questions into statements (guessing my people's occupations), another story about why some men find blondes attractive, I use a jealousy story, then I explain what state breaks are, and for kicks…I throw in a “You blink a lot” neg.

She starts throwing a lot of IOI’s and qualifying herself heavy. Didn’t close her though. Too many people and didn’t want to make her feel awkward. I needed the practice and we linked up on Facebook...so it’s cool.


The best practice of the night though wasn’t directly from her. My friends aren’t in the community. They kept trying to go into boring “What do you do?” and “What do you like?” conversations. I successfully steered the group away from those and I did it pretty smoothly. I also kept everyone involved.

Honestly, I didn’t know how good I was doing…we were her last table. Her boss realized she was having a bad day and let her go home early. She talked with us OVER AN HOUR AFTER WE HAD PAID!!!

She only left after I got up from the table and jokingly said, “I gotta go. Can’t break my curfew.” We’ll see where it goes. I’ll keep you guys posted.

Play The Game Fair.


Chris

P.S. Did you notice that I never asked her about what was wrong? How I didn’t help her re-live those bad emotions while she was with us? If you did…you’re starting to get better ;)

The Mind of a Tease

I punked out.

I went out, but I didn’t really practice. Didn’t run any routines for a couple reasons (this time they weren’t excuses), but primarily I couldn’t get into mine…routine that is.


I brought a friend of mine with me. He went through a rough breakup and he’s still not really over yet. He hasn’t had sex with anyone else for about 3 months since it happened. I believe he’ll be joining me in this experiment, so I’ll keep you guys posted on how he improves. We talked about that and I tried to stay productive.

I observed a lot. There are some definite characters at a hood club. Tariq Nasheed has done well to classify these women in his books, but I’ll take a little time to paraphrase his info and add my two cents.


Women need feel appreciated. That is the big underlying desire women have. When they can’t have that…they can settle for attention. Young women get a lot of attention from men for how they look. Older women are appreciated by their husbands and families for what they do (and have done).

Some younger women aren’t appreciated at work or by their boyfriends, so they get attention by wilding out at the club. These women MIGHT get with the promoter or some dopeboy at the club because, sometimes, they’re both out to get attention (through flashing money, buying the bar, bragging, etc.).

I only bring these girls up for one reason. If you get turned down, it’s not personal. Also, if you go out…just don’t waste your time. I’d only do it to see how good I’m getting or to plow.

Before I end this post, I should tell you guys that there were a lot of people at the club that I knew. Cold approach is mainly about going into a place where no one knows each other and making it happen. I usually practice where people don’t know me.


The city I currently reside in is only so big. After a while, unless you’re in a megacity, you start to run into the same people. That’s why I’m going to start to work on social circle stuff. Talk to guys later.


Play The Game Fair.


Chris

I’m Back!!!

Ok…

I’m back. I know some of you were probably wondering what I was up to. I just needed time to get settled back in. There are some blogs that I follow. I’m usually upset when I can’t get new info from them as well. Hopefully, you all have been using this time to practice what you know though.

I know there are a few questions that many of you are curious about…so I’ll answer them first.

1. What were you doing in Argentina?

The company I work for employs many Hispanics. They subsidized my trip if I would go practice my Spanish, so I went.

2. What did you do while you were in Argentina?

Study the language and try to get well (I was sick 3 and a half of the 5 weeks I was there).
Sidebar:

They have a pretty good healthcare system there.


3. What are the women like?

They’re cool. Not as exotic as you’d think really. 95% of them look very European (white) with dark brown hair (brunettes). Men are real real aggressive when it comes to women, i.e. excessive grabbing and cat-calling, so the women are real defensive.

4. Did you get with any of the women there?

Yes and no. More no honestly ;) The last week was really my only healthy week…and I went for broke. 8 close calls, but I didn’t fully close any of them. Only one was an Argentine. Colleagues were easier to deal with because we spoke the same language (and I could run my material). The language barrier was hard for me because I depend on it so much on talking to display my value.
Long story short…I haven’t done that much making out since Junior High.

5. What did you learn?

A lot. I realized a lot of things while I was down there about social interactions. How to work a social circle was one of them. There were so many people there who had to deal with each other for a month.

I plan to talk about this more in the future. Don’t worry…I’m not converting or anything. Cold approach is what we’re here for, but expect a post or two about it.

Tonight (Thursday) I’m going out. Expect a report this weekend about it. Also, I’ll share one story from Argentina.

Play The Game Fair,

Chris

Lounges/Bars vs. Clubs (Pt. 2)

This is my last post until mid-July. I know many of you wanted to hear this one so here it is. The former disclaimer still applies (as in I’m not a Guru and this is just from my experience). It may be a little shorter, but this is everything (or almost everything) that I think is relevant.
Lounges and bars are the best places in my mind to game. As I have told you, in clubs the intention of women is to dance, drink, and/or fight. In a bar, a woman’s intentions are to drink, be seen, and/or mingle.

THIS MEANS THAT SHE PLANNED TO TALK TO YOU THAT NIGHT!!!

Due to the fact that talking to others is on the agenda, if you come correct you have the best chance with her. Also, in this atmosphere most women will at least be cordial. It would be impolite to not at least acknowledge you and hear what you have to say. Here, you could also use a lot more of traditional pua material. Just as a warning, still refrain from anything too “out there”. The “Do you believe in spirits?” stuff is a no no. The traditional “break up through text message” opener will actually do well.


Pros to the Lounges/Bars are:

1. You can actually use traditional pua material.

2. The women have more patience (give you more time to run your routines).

3. The women usually have more education and better jobs.


Cons to the Lounges/Bars are:

1. More quality competition.

The men here usually have more education and better jobs also.

2. More entry restrictions.

There are a lot of “no gym shoes” dress codes and the like. If you like to dress a little hood, you’re either going to have to change up, pay the bouncer a lot, or avoid them all together. Furthermore, the “Grown ‘N Sexy Affairs” might actually require you to be grown. The 25 and older requirements will keep you young players out.

3. More flakes.

The women here feel a very strong pressure to be polite. Because of this, a lot of the women here will have so-called boyfriends. You might get a few fake numbers or have familiar conversations with her voicemail. That just means that your game needs a little work. Practice makes perfect :)


Sidebar:

If she dances (grinding up close) with you here, at any point, there is some level of attraction. It’s not uncommon, but this isn’t something that she’s come there to do. To some extent she thought more of you to do so.

I apologize if I don’t give you guys an actual routine or order of interaction this time. As I’ve said, though, you can use traditional stuff here. Furthermore, I have a couple posts with my old material in them (I’m a little lazy).

Here’s a couple of other things to remember in these places before I go. The music should be lower so don’t peck…at all. When opening a set, address the whole group first. Because you can speak at a level that everyone can hear you, let everyone hear you. After her girls perceive you as “just a social guy”, you’ll be able to game the lady you’re interested in easier.

That’s all I can think of…right now. Catch you guys mid-July.


Play The Game Fair.


Chris.

Speechless...

Okay....

This is what it is. I jumped out of bed and I didn't "turn my swag on". I realized I haven't been in the field in almost 3 weeks.

I can't tell you anything about how I'm doing what I'm doing if I'm not doing it (hope that made sense).

Obviously, I'm too busy to go out right now. Fortunately, I can still have the women in my life that I want...I just need more ;)

If you've read my previous posts, you know I'm ramping up to go to Argentina. And I'm not being paid to write this stuff (or put this info out)...yet. I'm really doing this for everyone else that was in my position. Hell, I'm still in that position. It's not too many of us speaking out.

So I am.

I will be back from Argentina in mid-July and that's when I will resume posting. I could be out here acting like I'm really doing it, but that's just not me. I'm going to post the info I had on bar/lounge game and then I'm taking a break. I apologize.

To keep you guys reading up, I'll give you a couple good guys to mess with:

Sinn (sinns of attraction blog)
Captain Jack (be the seducer blog)
Savoy (the real savoy blog)

http://tsbmag.com/

This one above usually is funny and occasionally has some gems.

See you guys on the other side.


Play The Game Fair.


Chris

There’s This One Girl…

Okay guys. This isn’t what you think it’s about. You’ve heard this phrase before. Maybe it was you that said it. Pick up doesn’t help you get the girl next door…at first. In my experience if you want to get at a young lady that has constantly been exposed to you, it’s going to be hard. You’ve had all these opportunities to say something and you haven’t. She’s had all these opportunities to say something to you and she hasn’t. So how do you do it?

It’s worked for me a few times (only three) and it happened this way. A second chance meeting occurred. When I say that, I mean that we saw each other at another time that was outside our control (or appeared to be).

Examples:

You just happen to show up at her job (Not stalker-ish. You didn’t know she worked there).

You two happen to have a class together.

You just broke up with your girlfriend (This one is a stretch. Plus it can possibly set a relationship frame).

The point is that it’s sort of a chance meeting and it gives you two that chance to start the gaming process over from a different place. After this, you can start to use the new pick up skills you’ve learned as she gives this “new” you a chance.

Sidebar:

For the record…that’s not what I wanted to talk about ;) That was just a random deviation/digression from what I really had to get off my chest, sparked by the title that I just gave the post.

Back to the post…

The girl I’m talking about was the one from the past night that I didn’t approach…I basically need to put myself on blast. She was brown skinned, cute, fashionable, athletic with wide hips, hair down to her shoulders, and about 5’7 (5’11 with the heels she had on). I didn’t step to her.

Now I could chalk it up to “not being in-state” because we went to this party that I hadn’t planned on going to. I could say that I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to, “just put my bid in” and my opener wasn’t functional. I could just play it off on the fact she caught me off-guard. At the end of the day, though, they’re all excuses. I should’ve said SOMETHING. Usually I would…but I didn’t.

I might’ve just missed out on Miss Right (really Miss Right Now…I don’t need to meet Miss Right) because I didn’t say anything.

In the end, it comes down to who misses out. If I approach and she chooses me, we both win out. If I approach and she doesn’t choose me, she misses out. If I don’t approach at all, I miss out. If someone’s going to miss out from now on…it’s going to be her.

Excuses never do any good.

Excuses are tools used by the incompetent. They build bridges that lead to nowhere. Therefore, as a Black PUA, I will never have excuses.

You guys can use that if you want ;)


Play The Game Fair.


Chris

Lounges/Bars vs. Clubs (Pt. 1)

I’ve been promising this for a while. Here it goes. Keep in mind; I AM NOT A GURU and/or EXPERT!!! I’m just a guy like you who happens to practice (odds are) in the field a little more than you. This is what I’ve learned from my experience. Your experience may be different.

Now that my disclaimer is out of the way…

If I had to choose, I’d pick the bars/lounges over the clubs. The focus of the women is different in each one. This first one will be about clubs though.

Clubs have the hood chicks. I can’t lie. I have a soft spot for them. They are the ones that I am very VERY attracted to on a very (almost purely) sexual level. I love them. If you’re looking for golds in the mouth, rings in the tongue, ignorantly tight skirts, and/or real big butts…that’s where you want to be.

It is so loud in the club!!! If you’re going to talk to a chick you have to “peck” (talk in the ear back and forth to each other). I know most PUA guru’s hate this because it appears like you’re supplicating to her on a subconscious level. It’s just too loud though. To avoid this, just make sure she’s leaning in to you more than you are to her. To achieve this all you have to do is act like you can’t hear her. If she is even mildly interested in getting her point across, most hood women are, she’ll come in to you or pull you in (which is cool too because it starts the kino interaction).

You don’t have a lot of time…at all. Women come to clubs to dance, drink, and occasionally fight. You have to be relatively direct.

Examples:

“I would’ve hated myself if I didn’t say hi so…what up?”

“You went to (what ever high school is in the area), didn’t you?”

“Me and my boy were trying to figure out what was the worst pick up line. What’s the worst one you’ve heard?”

Sidebar:

If you haven’t noticed through my previous posts, this last one is my default opener with Black women. Almost always works.

Back to the post….

Hood chicks don’t have patience. They want to know what you want now, five minutes ago. These girls were actually perfectly content just chilling with their girls and going home. That doesn’t mean that they’re not open to meeting a good man. They are, but they aren’t tripping that night if they don’t either.

Here’s the order of what I’ll usually do.

1. Connect with her or make her laugh.
2. General observations with some small cold read.
3. Make her laugh again.
4. Ask her to keep you company while YOU get a drink.

Going to the bar is the escalation. If she’s interested, she’ll go. Make sure the bar isn’t too far away. That’s one of the reasons why the women I target are usually in between the bar and the dance floor. Point to it and show her girls where you two are going. Ask them if possible. Use, “just over there” and “real quick”. You can do comfort there because the two of you are alone and, finally, she can hear you without the “pecking”. This is where you want to number close. After this I usually walk her back, crack a joke to the friends, and catch her on the day two. Grinding is the equivalent of the kiss close if you’ve talked to her already (if not it doesn’t mean anything at all).

I know that the drink thing seems a little AFC-ish (simpish for players). Bear with me. Clubs are, by nature, hood. Hood chicks are coming to dance, drink, or fight. Going to get a drink gives her an excuse to isolate with you from her friends without judgment. If you're talking to a lady that already has a drink in hand, this problem is already solved.

As far as whom to game, the girls already at the bar will say anything to get a drink. Leave them alone. Girls in the thick of the dance floor are into either dancing or teasing. It’s very hard to properly game them. The ones kind of in the middle of the two give you the most play.

There are a few downsides to clubs.

1. Too many promotes. Because of this, you get TAXED to get in party.

2. Ignorant hood type dudes. Because of them, there are fights over shoes, drinks, and their girlfriends choosing you. Sometimes even shots fired afterwards…

3. If you’re looking for a lady with good credit and a good job…she might not be here. MOST (not all) women at clubs are younger and/or don’t have degrees. Recent high school graduates and Burger King employees get their night to shine at these places.

This is what I’ve found out thus far. Part 2 concerning the bars and lounges is coming soon.

Play The Game Fair.

Chris

What Breeds Confidence?

Before I even start, I want you guys to know that I knocked out 4 posts. They’ll be on here soon. I misplaced the other 3 (pretty good ones if I do say so myself) and when I find them, they’ll be up.

Here goes…

Be confident. Be yourself. Just be confident. Just be yourself. Many “relationship” experts have pushed this as advice while PUA gurus have railed against it.

Now I happen to disagree with how some PUAs argue this. They’ll say, “The person you are now isn’t getting you the results you want. Why wouldn’t you want to be someone else?” That’s not my sentiment at all. From what I can remember, I’ve never really had a problem with women. It is my belief that the community is for those intelligent men who want to IMPROVE their success with women. I believe many of you are in that same proverbial boat. The “zero to hero” story sells like crazy, so many PUA gurus sell that. From what I can tell, though, most PUAs are normal guys who just want to get more consistent. Style said it best. Pick up isn’t about being yourself; it’s about presenting your BEST self.

And now on to confidence…

Faking it ‘til you make it can only get you so far. You actually have to have something to be confident about!!! I knew this all along, but it didn’t hit home until my former main lady and I parted ways.

She was great…in every way. Could cook, was good with kids, my family loved her, and she took care of business in the bedroom. The problem was, though, she had serious desertion issues. Men always left. I wasn’t ready for a relationship and she kept pressing for one. She asked me the last time we met up, “Everyone’s always saying be confident. How can I be confident when all the men in my life always leave?” It was crazy…

Think about it though. Rich men are confident because they’re rich. Well endowed men are confident because they’re well endowed. Women naturally love confident men because it’s a shortcut (or supposed to be) for them to figure out which men have something going for themselves.

What can you be confident about? It has to be something. Are you funny? Good at chess? Do you know the episodes of “24” better than anyone else? IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING!!! If you don’t have something, get something. Work out more often, get better at your job at work, or pick that old hobby back up.

Inner game information products have become big business. It’s really not that deep. AA can only really be conquered by doing more approaches. Inner game can only come from inner confidence that’s genuine and coming from a real place. Charisma/confidence/swagger doesn’t just appear out of thin air. If you want it, you have to do something to get it. Achieving small goals or winning little contests are a good start. Now you know without buying inner game eBooks, DVDs, or MP3s. Look at all the money I just saved you ;)


Play The Game Fair.


Chris

Something to Remember

I haven’t forgotten about yall. I know that there are people that read this. I appreciate all of you that do.

Jaylen!!! Cinque!!! What up fam!?!

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is…if you read this, hit me up. I respond. I NEED that feedback (and some comments) to make this blog better and make me better. I told you guys that I haven’t mastered this stuff. I’m a student of the game and I know you all are too.

It’s been a while I know. Life takes you to a lot of places. Just found out that it’s taking me to Argentina for a month in June. It’s not related to pick up (I don’t make any money off this). I’m really starting to believe that you can only serve one master. I have many passions and none of them are improving as much as I’d like them to…maybe that means they’re just hobbies ;)

I say that just so that I can reiterate what I was saying earlier. If you want to get better at this you’re going to have to give up some things. You can’t have it ALL. Few people triple major in college.

Biggest things I have been guilty of in my pick up journey, even now sometimes, is that I read A LOT of material. I like to see what everyone has to say. Much of it seems to be repeating itself and marketed as “new” or “revolutionary”. Whatever. Another thing that I used to do a lot was get too comfortable in the interactions and not escalate. I was just happy that they were having a conversation with me and seemed interested.

YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT PAST THAT!!!

My cousin, a serial entrepreneur of the legitimate kind, always used to tell me that, “Scared money don’t make money”. Without any risk, there is very little reward. Read less pick up material and risk more in the dating scene.


Play The Game Fair.


Chris

One in the Same (WR 6)

I’ve been a little disappointed with my main lady in the past few weeks, which has been (to no surprise) really good for my research. As I told you in previous posts, I am in a NPHC fraternity (I won’t tell you which) and there were brothers from out of town that I didn’t get to show a good time and I’m slightly upset about that.

That said…

My boy (the Natural from before) wanted to show me a good time so we decided to roll to this house party. We were invited by a mutual friend that had been invited by one of her friends. For the record, this is a dual-edged sword gaming at house parties. A PUA Savoy has stated (and I’ve found it to be true looking back), that house parties are good because everyone will think that you’re at least pretty cool because you got invited, but if you mess up a set really bad it can destroy your chances with the rest of the women at the party.

When we first arrived, it was a little slow. There weren’t that many people there yet and people knew, for a fact, that they had never seen us before. We looked like party-crashers. Of course, PUAs never really trip. I just introduced myself to everyone that appeared the most laid back and that pretty much diffused it. After doing so, I kind of broke one of the rules. You’re not supposed to drink before opening a set. The Natural wanted to take advantage of the free alcohol and I refused to let him drink alone ;) After three shots, we got back into it.

Sidebar:

There is this revolution in pick up going around (not really). It basically revolves around you actually enjoying yourself. Yes, YOU actually enjoying YOUR SELF. I know, I joke I joke. I kid, I kid. What I’m saying, though, is by actually having fun when you go out and being social because you want to (you HAVE to get to this point I believe to get really good), you won’t have to worry about appearing needy or your body language because it will become natural…and that’s where we want to get anyway right?

Back to the story…

We get back into it, and there’s this drinking game going on. We participate and a few girls do also. I spot a lady I want to approach. She’s about 5’6 feet, light skinned, cute face, as body like she works out, and appears to have a more professional appeal to her than hood. I tease her about watching the game by telling her drinking games aren’t spectator sports. I joke with her until she decides to play. Because of the nature of the game we were playing, I couldn’t run normal game on her. So I continued to flirt and she did also. It’s going back and forth and the Natural starts to flirt with her also. It’s funny because I’ve kept things pretty neutral up until now due to the fact she hasn’t invested enough to warrant a statement of interest (basically completely letting her know I’m feeling her). The Natural is indicating too much interest too soon. It borders on the “just put my bid in” mentality. She’s starting to not feel comfortable being around. After the game, I follow up with a little screening dialogue (How did you know about the party, etc.). I feel someone watching me and it’s a very metro sexual guy. He looks like one of those guys that tried out for Day 26 and got cut. “Oh yeah. That’s my boyfriend.” I don’t like hard work. I move on.

We go down to play pool for a bit with a couple guys that were in the drinking game. They’re telling me about a tattoo party and I’m interested. You wouldn’t know it if you seen me, but I have eight tattoos and a brand (they’re addictive). I took their contact info and kept it moving.

In a new set with a new group of girls. It’s three of them, only two are cute though. One has real bad acne, but she’s real cool. The one I was going after was about 5’5 feet, dark skinned, dressed well, but a little hood. Her lips stood out along with her attitude. The group didn’t hook though. The one I wanted was used to being the “cute one” and it had gone to her head. I couldn’t swing it.

I’m back with the girl who invited our friend to the party. I find out this is an Air Force party and they’re throwing it for a girl that’s re-stationing. I get excited. For one, I’m prior service and for two that gives me conversational ammunition (Where are you originally from, etc.).

Fight breaks out.

We get back to partying and I see a girl I had approached in college that didn’t work. I can tell I’m obviously doing better than she, but why rub it in her face. My actions already are. She knows she missed out ;) I meet two girls, both Air Force, and they’re both from down south. I opened with worst pick up line. Teased about them going AF instead of Army. Joked about them being involved in the fight. Befriend and pretend to like friend more than the one I want. Ask the one I’m interested in if she’s really got to see the area (Most military people hang with military people. They don’t get to see how a town really is because they don’t know anyone from the area.). Then I contact info close.

Another fight breaks out.

I see another lady I want to approach. She’s 5’9, wide hips, light-skinned, beautiful, with nice lips, and the professional type. I open by asking did she see the fight. She’s seated and away from everyone else so I tease her by saying she threw the party and now she’s chaperoning it. I fake cold read, “Wait…you’re in the Air Force aren’t you”. Chat it up about us both having a military background. I ask where she’s originally from. She’s from North Carolina and that’s where I’m relocating later in the year. I jump into a role-play. “If in NC and somebody bump me, will this thug face get me out of a fight.” Of course, I can’t stay hard and we’re laughing about it. I broke through the defenses. I’m trying to escalate, and then I see the ring. She tells me she’s married to a Marine. I don’t mess with marriage…boyfriends, but not husbands. Games over, but I do a little more comfort. I tell her I’ll save her from the Souldja Boyz that try to get at her. Later on I use her for social proof, by smiling or sticking my tongue out at her jokingly while in other sets (of course she responds favorably).

Oh yeah…remember the guy fake R&B singer? So we practiced a little AMOG’ing. The Natural got at my initial target while I spoke to “Chico”. Can’t really get into specifics because I don’t really know what we were doing. It was just funny.

The LAST fight of the night.

The police came. We left. It was crazy. The whole party just started fighting. Why? Know one knows. No one swung on any of my people so we pretty much let things go. The people that tried to break up the fight ended getting in fights themselves. I don’t do too much of that anymore. People that break up fights get shot.

Overall good night. Ol’ girl already contacted me as of writing this. Good stuff. You just have to keep going out to keep getting better.


Play The Game Fair.


Chris

Grinds My Gears (Pt. 2)

Some of you this will apply to and some of you it won’t. I just have to get this off my chest really quickly because it has really really bothered me for a long time.

I love women. I’m attracted to all races of women. I don’t discriminate.

I do have a type. I usually go for tall, dark-skinned women (of African descent or Black) with wide hips. Having breasts and a butt are great, but that’s not what I go crazy for. Those are the physical things I like. The intangibles are a little bit longer. It’s probably best to write that list down so you know Mrs. Right when you meet her…

I digress…

This is what grinds my gears. Men that are ashamed of the women they date. As a general rule, if you would be ashamed to take her out, you shouldn’t date her. My big issue is with the interracial daters though.

Let’s consider the worst case scenario you would go through for dating outside your race. Your boys crack jokes. Your family cracks jokes. Random Black women you don’t know look at you funny. That’s about it…

Let’s consider the worst case scenario the woman outside your race would go through. Random Black women she doesn’t know look at her funny. The men and women of her race look at her funny. Her girls crack jokes about you. Her family DISOWNS HER.

She clearly has more to lose.

Unfortunately, even if you are doing well for yourself, it is seen as “marrying down” or “marrying beneath you” to date a Black man to many other races. A woman that’s not Black has to put up with a lot of mess to get at you.

DON’T MAKE IT WORSE BY NOT WANTING TO TAKE HER OUT IN PUBLIC.

That really makes you look weak. If you don’t feel comfortable taking her out in public…just don’t do it. Especially with interracial dating. Just don’t date outside your race. I’ve seen it happen a few times and I don’t think it’s cool at all. Ok...I’m done venting.


Play The Game Fair.


Chris

Semi-Perfect Date

Often PUA’s say that the best way to ensure that your first date ends in a bedroom (preferably yours) is through multi-venue dates. The theory sounded pretty good, but I hadn’t tried it out until last weekend.

What was the result?

You can pretty much quote me on this. “On everything I love, I will never take a woman I haven’t slept with on a one-venue date again.” There. I said it and the whole world knows.
Why would I do this?

This answer is very simple. It works like a charm. It’s almost too easy. And when I really think about it (you try to think back also)…anytime I slept with a woman on the first date, we had been to a few venues that evening. I can only think of one situation where it didn’t happen that way.

The theory behind it is that through the multiple venues it gives the illusion that the two of you have know each other for a longer period of time. What’s the biggest reason a woman can’t have sex with a man she’s attracted to? She hasn’t known the man well enough to do so without appearing like a whore.

By continuing to different venues it accomplishes many things. For one, it acknowledges that she really likes you (because she would’ve asked to be taken home if she wasn’t enjoying herself), that you really like her (for the same reasons), it establishes you as a leader through taking her to these different places and experiences, and, more importantly, it gives you two both time to appreciate each other for more than just appearance.

Sidebar:

First dates should not be dinner and a movie…EVER. If you must, incorporate just one into the other venues planned. By going to both, you formally set this “date” attitude (or frame as it is called). It’ll take a lot longer to get where you’re trying to go this way. Go to fun or social places. Pool halls, howling alleys, a bar (not a club), one of those rock climbing places (not an actual mountain), your friend’s house party, etc…

On to my successful date…

“Sheila” and I were supposed to meet up at 9pm. I had been to work earlier and spent time with my family right after. I still wasn’t dressed. I came in, socialized with her roommate and her man for a while. We left shortly after.

I took her to my place, briefly showed her around, and then proceeded to shower. This gave her time to get comfortable in my place. I came down after getting dressed and we were off.

I told her I had movies to return. When we got there, Sheila and I went in to pick out a movie. While doing so, I ran “Rings on Fingers” and pretended to the store clerk that we had been together for years.

We hit the bowling alley next. This was mainly just a lot of comfort stuff. I did a lot of joking with the people bowling next to us, betting a kiss on the cheek for the next strike, and more of the like. I believe I kissed her when we got back in the car (it was the earlies opportunity).

Next, we went to a pool hall. Most times the woman doesn’t know how to play (or acts like she doesn’t). Instead of grinding on her ass and not really helping, I give her a couple pointers. She’s happy that she’s improving and I’m, “happy to see you’re good at taking directions”.

Sheila and I head back to my house. I put in the movie that I rented. The lights are off of course and we’re both under the covers. Kissing. Pay attention to the movie. Kissing. Back to the movie. I did that about three more times and then we went all the way.

Now for your objections. Some would think that this would be a very long night. Not really. All you have to do is spend an hour at a place and then go to another. If you started a 9pm, you can go everywhere by midnight or 1am. Some would think this would be expensive going on multi-venue dates. It really isn’t. The movies can run you about $15 to $20. A Friday’s or Applebee’s will cost about $20 to $30. Those are all low ball numbers. $35 to $50 for a low to no value date. If you look above, we went to six places without trying (Her place, my place, movie store, bowling alley, pool hall, my place). I spent $23 out of pocket and had a quality evening ($13 at the bowling alley, $5 movie rental, $5 at the pool hall).

Now this isn’t about penny pinching. All I’m saying is look at the value of what you’re doing. It is a recession. You could spend $50 to get a hug at the end of the night…maybe. Or you could spend $20 and have someone to keep you warm in bed.


Play The Game Fair.


Chris

Old Routine

Ok...

I'm not using these talk points anymore so you guys can use them. Maybe you can get an idea of how these routines work and how to use them. Please don't blatently copy. Try to get your own if you can. If you can't...use these until then.

The "Strawberry Field" routine and "Rings on Fingers" stuff can be found all over the internet. I'm too lazy to type the stuff out ;)

DHV's are demostrations of higher value (credit Mystery). All that means is that you are showing the woman that you're not like every other guy. Qualifiers show her you have standards and disqualifiers show her that you're not interested. We do that just so we can game her without her defenses coming up.

Please remember that the only reasons routines are used are so 1) we can focus on the interaction instead of what to say next and 2) so we can practice enough to become full on naturals.

Once you get to that point...you won't need to use "lines" and the like anymore.

That said...

Open:
-Help me win this bet…
-Is it okay to be superficial…
-Who lies more…?
-You seem cool. I had to come over to say hi.

Time Constraint:
-Gotta get back to my friends…

Open:
-Worst pick-up line?

Neg (Here or before 2nd Open):
-Is she always like this?

DHV:
-Atlanta Greek picnic socialize story…
*Seed date*

Group:
-How do you all know each other?

Neg:
-Coolest girls I’ve met…in the last 30 seconds.

DHV:
-I really think we’re vibing. I bet y’all that I can read your mind. Pick a number between one and ten. Seven?

Time Constraint:
-I gotta get going…

Isolation:
-Since y’all been holding me up, why don’t y’all let (blank) go with me to talk to my friends?

*Rings on Fingers Routine with a seg way into Strawberry Fields*

Jealousy thread:
-Brief introduction to male and female stranger.

Vulnerability:
-I used to be shy around people.

IOI-IOD:
-I like hanging out with you. Too bad you’re not my type.

Return:
(Tell friends we like each other jokingly)

Exit:
-Nice meeting you (and enter new set).

Hope this helps...


Play The Game Fair.

Chris

PUA vs. Natural

I got to hang out with one of my good friends this weekend.

He’s a good guy and a flawless natural. When I started this experiment I wanted to go out every night with him and, while he did what he normally does, I would adjust my game every week so we could compare results.

Unfortunately, our work schedules SIGNIFICANTLY conflict. I was happy just to kick it with my homey.

That said…

While we were out I noticed a couple differences in how he and I approach this dating/courting process.

Opening/Conversation Starters:


Natural (Him) - My friend always seemed to be waiting and looking for an opening. He spent a lot of time looking for eye contact and other indicators of interest before he would interact with any of the women at the venue.

PUA (Me) – I still have a little approach anxiety, but, for the most part, if I see a woman I want to say something to…I do. I initiated more conversations and met more people than my friend.

Mid-game/Actual Conversation:


Natural – He’s been doing this for a long time. Once he gets into an interaction, he can really get it going. He’s good, but many times he doesn’t have an end goal in mind (which screws him in my opinion)...

PUA – I’m starting to get good. I can keep everything light, fun, and pique women’s interest. That night, thought, my friend often would come in to my groups (because I had opened more than he had) and unintentionally go for my target or dominate the following conversations. I don’t blame him though. There are rules to this…but he doesn’t know them yet.

Closing:


Natural – No luck. He pretty much bet all his chips on one group, and they flaked. He has a decent killer instinct, but I believe he just misread the group.

PUA – I won’t lie. I was very lazy that night. I should’ve tried to get a number or meet someone later…but I didn’t. I had one that I had gotten pretty attracted, but I later found out one of my other friends had been trying to get at her night and I really didn’t want to take her from him ;)

In other news…

I guess I’ve learned through this experiment to force yourself talk to multiple groups. It makes you look connected and if one group falls off, you got other ones. Many guys, when they go out and get a positive reaction from some women, stop speaking to the rest of the women in the club because they’re afraid they’ll mess things up with the women they’ve “got in good” with.
Who cares?

When you think about it, you can only build your social value…it’s “social” value. You get it from being social. Plus, she just met you and you just met her. There shouldn’t be that much of a fear of loss.

Play The Game Fair.

Chris

Disappointment…but Not a Waste of Time (WR 5)

You could say it was a waste of time to go out. It wasn’t really though. It was Friday the 13th and I went to a club that usually has a good size crowd. Seeing that it was the day before Valentine’s I assumed a lot of people would be out kicking it. Not so much…

The maximum amount of people that came through that night was twenty. It was cool though. I got to work some of the guys that were there. “What time this end?” “Does this club usually jump?” All of the general questions that get you into a talkative mood and get onlookers to wondering, “How does this guy know everybody?”

There were only a couple women that were there, but I worked with what I had. I didn’t get to practice any of my material on them because for one, they opened me and two, they left after maybe an hour or two.

Good things that came from this night...

-Got in good with the promoter:

I didn’t plan on staying that long, but I had planned on spending a lot more. I talked to the promoter on some general stuff for a little while and gave him and the bartender the excess money I had planned on spending. Both of them are definitely going to hook me up next time I fall through (from their mouths, not mine).

-I worked with what I had:

On a slow night, I’ve found it’s real easy to just go home or just chill out and get real introverted. I stayed social the whole time and I’m going to count that as a success. I talked to guys, I talked to the women, the bodyguards, promoters, whoever…the thing is I kept talking. You can’t get the woman (or women) of your dreams if you can’t walk up, talk to her, and keep the conversation going.

-I found the strongest Long Island Iced Teas in the world!!!

Pretty self-explanatory ;)


Play The Game Fair.


Chris

The Top 3 Things That Mess Relationships Up (That You Can’t Control)

First off…I already know. Don’t remind me that I’m slipping on my nights out. I work my material every chance I get and, these days, it’s not that often. One of my guys was in the ER all last night (the night I was going out). Stuff happens…you gotta be there for those you care about.
Now on to the topic….

As I reflect back on the past relationships that I have had, I saw a few things come up repeatedly. After asking around, I realized that many people have these same issues in their relationships. Sometimes these issues end relationships. I’m very close to a lot of military guys and, with many of them, being killed in action or their wives cheating on them while they are on a deployment is talked and joked about so often that it doesn’t become such a mental block anymore. Maybe after giving you guys these 3 things, they won’t become such a big thing in your relationships.

1. The number. There is no way around it…there really isn’t. There isn’t any good that comes from telling or asking about it either. From a woman’s perspective, there is a very high incentive to lie. Why INVITE dishonesty into your relationship?

On the man’s side, there is no number that she tells you that is going to be good enough…none. If she says just you, she might be lying. If it’s 10, she’s a ho. If it’s one other, you want to know if his penis was bigger. Just avoid it all together…

2. Insecurities. I’m not talking about the other person’s issues. I’m talking about yours. When it comes down to it…if she continued to date you, it’s not that big a deal. If you’re balding, she saw that when you came over. If it’s your money issues, she saw after the first date. If it’s something sexual (and you both have had sex more than twice), she doesn’t care…that much. Just like when you went over there and continued to get at her after you saw she had a little pooch, she has accepted your faults. Don’t make something that’s not a problem a problem.

3. Control. Please accept the fact that she’s her own person. You can call, argue, and all that other mess, but when it comes down to it…you can’t control if she cheats. It’s like a virus. You can do stuff to prevent it. You can treat her right and give what she needs (physically and emotionally). A guy can even try to treat the symptoms by getting his act together or talking it out with his significant other. Now most good women won’t cheat if they’re being treated well, but it works both ways. She can’t stop you from being with other people if you want to and you can’t stop her.

There they are. Stop worrying about these 3 things and your relationship or relationships will get better. A wise man once said (and I wish I remember who he was), “Work on what’s in your means to control, pray on everything else that’s not.” That’s real…

P.S. All you non-religious people substitute hope in for pray.


Play The Game Fair.


Chris

The Relationship Problems I DON'T Have....

Interesting title right? Well I’ve been talking to some of my close friends (most of which are 1-woman men) and their conversations always lead up to or end up on their lady problems…without fail.

That’s not the problem though. If that’s what you like, by all means chase that to your heart’s content. There are many times, though, where they are SO FRUSTRATED. “She doesn’t get it, she doesn’t listen, and she isn’t trying.” This argument, that argument…

I can honestly say that I can’t remember the last time I had an argument with a significant other. I don’t have to. If she wants to argue or do things I don’t agree with, I leave. I’ll continue to date other people until she calms down or gets it together. The thing is…she knows this too. I don’t have to tell her either. Women’s intuition is real. Because of that, I don’t have too many problems.

Now if I want to own my own business, I have to deal with the downturns. I might have to cut costs, I might have to miss a few dinners out…hell, there might be some bouts of mini-depression mixed in with a lack of health insurance.

What it does have though (in any business that you may own) is freedom and potential. Most millionaires and (I believe) all billionaires own their own business. You can be real comfortable with a job, but it’s unlikely you’ll be rich and you, undoubtedly, will always have a boss.
This relates directly to relationships. Married men will love and be loved by their wives in ways unmarried men don’t understand. They will get to have a real connection, get sex on a regular basis, and will overall be pretty comfortable. Married men might not have any dry spells, but they won’t have many things single men do (multiple relationships, different escapades, etc.). Some married men might have these, but they will be completely violating their marriages while doing so. They’ll always have that boss too…in most long term relationships the woman is usually the dominant one.

Bringing it all together….

While I was talking to one of my close friends, I told him that at this point in my life the number one thing I need in my relationships isn’t love…it’s behavior. After saying that, he likened me to a pimp (in a very derogatory manner). I took offense because I pride myself on being a gentleman. I treat the women I date very well and I am open to falling in love. The thing is, though, I need a woman who can stick to the type of relationship we both agreed to. Now there’s no formal contract or anything, but if we have a mutual understanding then there should be no confusion…and it has to stay that way. Anything else and we can no longer date.

The relationship ends when we have problems.

My relationships better my life…not complicate it (I think this is what Jay-Z meant).


Play The Game Fair.

Chris

Don't Pull Out (WR 4)

This is the weekend recap from January 30, 2009. I know it’s been a couple weeks. I journal write most of my nights out in present tense so this entry will be written as such.

It was a good night. I can’t complain. Although I was managing a party mainly, I was able to stay in set (conversations) all of the free time I had. Being engaged with people the whole time you are at a venue is a great thing!!!!

I got my first official close (date) from this type of gaming. Good chick…might work out (It didn’t because her friend wanted me to get at her and the jealousy messed it up). I pulled another YL (young lady from now on) in a more normal fashion. The only reason I didn’t try the usual material was because I felt I had too much social proof. I didn’t feel the need to play hard-to-get or high status. I was managing the venue that night and had a party afterwards at my place…what did I have to prove?

Overall….the night was cool. It was also cool to have my little brother come out and see me in action.

I learned two things tonight. The lessons may seem contradictory, but they’re not. The first was to stay in conversations. Even in situations where the women might not feel me, I can learn to read body language and practice the material by sticking it out. The second lesson was that sometimes you can break the rules. That doesn’t mean to give yourself reasons to quit, leave, or just not approach. It means to know when to skip certain parts, when to comfort her, tease her, or make things awkward.

Basically, train your gut well enough that you won’t get screwed for listening to it.


Play The Game Fair.

Chris

Apology

To the world (whatever elite portion that reads these posts) I sincerely apologize. I’m really sorry guys. I didn’t even realize that I had been gone that long.


This is what I’ve been up to:

-Work

-More work

-Occasionally sleep

That’s not all though. This vow of forced celibacy…not messing with the old flings and women in my social circle that are around and willing was only going to last so long. I had to clear the pipes. In a span of maybe three days I came like seven times. I’m feeling so much better now that all of that is out of my system ;)

Oh yeah…from now on (I promise) I’m going to spread my posts out. You might see a few in a short span this time, but that’s just to catch up. Even if I have a lot to say, I plan to keep it to the two a week I said formerly.

Things are hectic, but they are still going pretty good. The experiment is going REAL WELL right now though. The two weekend recaps will be up tonight.

Until then….


Play The Game Fair.

Chris

Making an Extreme Point

This will be a real short one….maybe.

So…I talked about the economics of Black men last post. This one is all about proving that point, sticking true to your standards, and getting what you want from your significant other.

You guys should be a little familiar with Mystery and his system. He’s pretty popular. A big pillar of his method deals with pre-selection. It’s all about actively showing and proving (not telling) that other women want you. Tariq Nasheed is also real big in the relationship arena for black men and women. He says that the most powerful chip someone can have in a relationship is options. I believe that. So what do the guys do that don’t have many options? What if you just want to “prove” that point to the woman you’re dating?

One of my guys that I’m real cool with came up with this thing he does with every woman that becomes his “main” chick. I think he said he came by this trick by accident. It’s very possible because he’s just an asshole by nature. So what is it already?

My boy never forces the issue on anything. He also hates arguing. If you won’t do something, he’ll just get someone else to do it. The first time his “main” chick refuses his sexual advances (granted this is after they have already had sex a few times), he goes into the drawer where he keeps his pornos, grabs the lube, goes downstairs, and takes care of the issue. He doesn’t hide it, he doesn’t parade it either, but he makes sure she knows. He doesn’t put the audio on high, but he listens to it like he normally would. After he’s done, he comes back up with the flick, towel, and lube, puts them away, and lays down with her like nothing happened.

I don’t have to tell you that this messes the woman up right?

In every movie where the woman gets too comfortable with the relationship, she tells the sexually frustrated man to go take of his problem and tosses him some lotion. Every time, the guy just sits there mad, pleads, or, in some better movies, goes out and cheats. He actually never does go masturbate. Now you all know I’m against cheating…and this is a similar situation for guys playing the game with only one player on the team.

Why not do it?

By this act alone you “show” the woman that she does not determine your happiness and that, even if she was the only woman that would have sex with you, she does not control when you orgasm. Even without options, you have them. And….for the men that do have a few, it really drives the point home. “If you won’t get me right, I will. Maybe next time, she will.”

That’s a very powerful statement…all without cheating for you committed-folk.

I’ll have to try this one out.

Play The Game Fair.

Chris

Grinds My Gears

My fellow journeymen…

I understand that we are all on the path to get better and, as such, feel we deserve the best. I understand that. I agree with you. What I don’t agree with, though, is some men and their misunderstanding of a relationship. The ideal relationship, whether fully committed or not, is 50/50. No one puts in more or gives more to the relationship than another.

CHEATING IS NOT PLAYER, PIMPISH, OR SMOOTH!!!

Misleading a woman is the exact opposite. You are lying to a woman in order to get what you want. Lying in court is perjury. Lying on an application is small scale fraud. Lying on your company’s books could land you in prison for years. So what would make anyone think that lying to someone you sleep with is any different?

An open relationship is player. Having three or four fb’s that know that they’re not the only one is pimp-ish. Hell, being able to stay undefined with a woman for a long period of time is even a little smooth. Lying is out-right wrong. It makes you look weak. Little boys hide and break the rules. A man will be upfront about the situation (not blunt…there’s a difference).

A great rule of thumb to know if you’re being a stand up guy in your relationships is how many of your ex’s are still cool with you. Think about it….

Also…listen to Musiq Soulchild. Often, he isn’t saying “I want only you” in his songs. He just has a way of letting women know what he wants in a relationship.

Play The Game Fair.

Chris

Success (WR 3)!!!!

Last weekend I took this show on the road. I won’t tell yall where I was, but I will tell you all that I love women with that “Naw’lins” accent.

I have to tell you guys that it went very, very well. Who knew? Honestly, I’ve only been doing this for three weeks. Each time I gain more of an insight into dating/courting dynamics. I’m really starting to put this stuff together. It’s great. I had one woman that was pretty much chasing me around the club. I also got many women to the point of exchanging contact info (I didn’t because all these people are hours away from me).

This place was more of a bar or lounge compared to a club. I am really noticing a difference in how people act in those different setting. A post is coming about the contrasts after I do a little bit more research on the subject.

All the openers went over well. The talking points worked well, as were the disqualifiers (talking points that actively show a disinterest in the woman you want to game). I have to transition my stories a better because they seemed a little forced. One of my new goals is to get the women I approach to the point where they are trying to give me their number.

Oh yeah…few things before I go:

1. There will always be a little anxiety before you “turn on” for the night. It happens.
2. Women aren’t going to kill you for approaching.
3. The rewards for this hard work will be worth it (I believe…)
4. Women aren’t better at game; they’re just more experienced (credit Mystery). Think about it. Men have to get out there and approach to talk to women. Good looking women have to deal with men no matter what. They deal with men by just going through life….go out there and get that experience!!!!!

Play The Game Fair.

Chris