Okay guys. This isn’t what you think it’s about. You’ve heard this phrase before. Maybe it was you that said it. Pick up doesn’t help you get the girl next door…at first. In my experience if you want to get at a young lady that has constantly been exposed to you, it’s going to be hard. You’ve had all these opportunities to say something and you haven’t. She’s had all these opportunities to say something to you and she hasn’t. So how do you do it?
It’s worked for me a few times (only three) and it happened this way. A second chance meeting occurred. When I say that, I mean that we saw each other at another time that was outside our control (or appeared to be).
Examples:
You just happen to show up at her job (Not stalker-ish. You didn’t know she worked there).
You two happen to have a class together.
You just broke up with your girlfriend (This one is a stretch. Plus it can possibly set a relationship frame).
The point is that it’s sort of a chance meeting and it gives you two that chance to start the gaming process over from a different place. After this, you can start to use the new pick up skills you’ve learned as she gives this “new” you a chance.
Sidebar:
For the record…that’s not what I wanted to talk about ;) That was just a random deviation/digression from what I really had to get off my chest, sparked by the title that I just gave the post.
Back to the post…
The girl I’m talking about was the one from the past night that I didn’t approach…I basically need to put myself on blast. She was brown skinned, cute, fashionable, athletic with wide hips, hair down to her shoulders, and about 5’7 (5’11 with the heels she had on). I didn’t step to her.
Now I could chalk it up to “not being in-state” because we went to this party that I hadn’t planned on going to. I could say that I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to, “just put my bid in” and my opener wasn’t functional. I could just play it off on the fact she caught me off-guard. At the end of the day, though, they’re all excuses. I should’ve said SOMETHING. Usually I would…but I didn’t.
I might’ve just missed out on Miss Right (really Miss Right Now…I don’t need to meet Miss Right) because I didn’t say anything.
In the end, it comes down to who misses out. If I approach and she chooses me, we both win out. If I approach and she doesn’t choose me, she misses out. If I don’t approach at all, I miss out. If someone’s going to miss out from now on…it’s going to be her.
Excuses never do any good.
Excuses are tools used by the incompetent. They build bridges that lead to nowhere. Therefore, as a Black PUA, I will never have excuses.
You guys can use that if you want ;)
Play The Game Fair.
Chris
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Lounges/Bars vs. Clubs (Pt. 1)
I’ve been promising this for a while. Here it goes. Keep in mind; I AM NOT A GURU and/or EXPERT!!! I’m just a guy like you who happens to practice (odds are) in the field a little more than you. This is what I’ve learned from my experience. Your experience may be different.
Now that my disclaimer is out of the way…
If I had to choose, I’d pick the bars/lounges over the clubs. The focus of the women is different in each one. This first one will be about clubs though.
Clubs have the hood chicks. I can’t lie. I have a soft spot for them. They are the ones that I am very VERY attracted to on a very (almost purely) sexual level. I love them. If you’re looking for golds in the mouth, rings in the tongue, ignorantly tight skirts, and/or real big butts…that’s where you want to be.
It is so loud in the club!!! If you’re going to talk to a chick you have to “peck” (talk in the ear back and forth to each other). I know most PUA guru’s hate this because it appears like you’re supplicating to her on a subconscious level. It’s just too loud though. To avoid this, just make sure she’s leaning in to you more than you are to her. To achieve this all you have to do is act like you can’t hear her. If she is even mildly interested in getting her point across, most hood women are, she’ll come in to you or pull you in (which is cool too because it starts the kino interaction).
You don’t have a lot of time…at all. Women come to clubs to dance, drink, and occasionally fight. You have to be relatively direct.
Examples:
“I would’ve hated myself if I didn’t say hi so…what up?”
“You went to (what ever high school is in the area), didn’t you?”
“Me and my boy were trying to figure out what was the worst pick up line. What’s the worst one you’ve heard?”
Sidebar:
If you haven’t noticed through my previous posts, this last one is my default opener with Black women. Almost always works.
Back to the post….
Hood chicks don’t have patience. They want to know what you want now, five minutes ago. These girls were actually perfectly content just chilling with their girls and going home. That doesn’t mean that they’re not open to meeting a good man. They are, but they aren’t tripping that night if they don’t either.
Here’s the order of what I’ll usually do.
1. Connect with her or make her laugh.
2. General observations with some small cold read.
3. Make her laugh again.
4. Ask her to keep you company while YOU get a drink.
Going to the bar is the escalation. If she’s interested, she’ll go. Make sure the bar isn’t too far away. That’s one of the reasons why the women I target are usually in between the bar and the dance floor. Point to it and show her girls where you two are going. Ask them if possible. Use, “just over there” and “real quick”. You can do comfort there because the two of you are alone and, finally, she can hear you without the “pecking”. This is where you want to number close. After this I usually walk her back, crack a joke to the friends, and catch her on the day two. Grinding is the equivalent of the kiss close if you’ve talked to her already (if not it doesn’t mean anything at all).
I know that the drink thing seems a little AFC-ish (simpish for players). Bear with me. Clubs are, by nature, hood. Hood chicks are coming to dance, drink, or fight. Going to get a drink gives her an excuse to isolate with you from her friends without judgment. If you're talking to a lady that already has a drink in hand, this problem is already solved.
As far as whom to game, the girls already at the bar will say anything to get a drink. Leave them alone. Girls in the thick of the dance floor are into either dancing or teasing. It’s very hard to properly game them. The ones kind of in the middle of the two give you the most play.
There are a few downsides to clubs.
1. Too many promotes. Because of this, you get TAXED to get in party.
2. Ignorant hood type dudes. Because of them, there are fights over shoes, drinks, and their girlfriends choosing you. Sometimes even shots fired afterwards…
3. If you’re looking for a lady with good credit and a good job…she might not be here. MOST (not all) women at clubs are younger and/or don’t have degrees. Recent high school graduates and Burger King employees get their night to shine at these places.
This is what I’ve found out thus far. Part 2 concerning the bars and lounges is coming soon.
Play The Game Fair.
Chris
Now that my disclaimer is out of the way…
If I had to choose, I’d pick the bars/lounges over the clubs. The focus of the women is different in each one. This first one will be about clubs though.
Clubs have the hood chicks. I can’t lie. I have a soft spot for them. They are the ones that I am very VERY attracted to on a very (almost purely) sexual level. I love them. If you’re looking for golds in the mouth, rings in the tongue, ignorantly tight skirts, and/or real big butts…that’s where you want to be.
It is so loud in the club!!! If you’re going to talk to a chick you have to “peck” (talk in the ear back and forth to each other). I know most PUA guru’s hate this because it appears like you’re supplicating to her on a subconscious level. It’s just too loud though. To avoid this, just make sure she’s leaning in to you more than you are to her. To achieve this all you have to do is act like you can’t hear her. If she is even mildly interested in getting her point across, most hood women are, she’ll come in to you or pull you in (which is cool too because it starts the kino interaction).
You don’t have a lot of time…at all. Women come to clubs to dance, drink, and occasionally fight. You have to be relatively direct.
Examples:
“I would’ve hated myself if I didn’t say hi so…what up?”
“You went to (what ever high school is in the area), didn’t you?”
“Me and my boy were trying to figure out what was the worst pick up line. What’s the worst one you’ve heard?”
Sidebar:
If you haven’t noticed through my previous posts, this last one is my default opener with Black women. Almost always works.
Back to the post….
Hood chicks don’t have patience. They want to know what you want now, five minutes ago. These girls were actually perfectly content just chilling with their girls and going home. That doesn’t mean that they’re not open to meeting a good man. They are, but they aren’t tripping that night if they don’t either.
Here’s the order of what I’ll usually do.
1. Connect with her or make her laugh.
2. General observations with some small cold read.
3. Make her laugh again.
4. Ask her to keep you company while YOU get a drink.
Going to the bar is the escalation. If she’s interested, she’ll go. Make sure the bar isn’t too far away. That’s one of the reasons why the women I target are usually in between the bar and the dance floor. Point to it and show her girls where you two are going. Ask them if possible. Use, “just over there” and “real quick”. You can do comfort there because the two of you are alone and, finally, she can hear you without the “pecking”. This is where you want to number close. After this I usually walk her back, crack a joke to the friends, and catch her on the day two. Grinding is the equivalent of the kiss close if you’ve talked to her already (if not it doesn’t mean anything at all).
I know that the drink thing seems a little AFC-ish (simpish for players). Bear with me. Clubs are, by nature, hood. Hood chicks are coming to dance, drink, or fight. Going to get a drink gives her an excuse to isolate with you from her friends without judgment. If you're talking to a lady that already has a drink in hand, this problem is already solved.
As far as whom to game, the girls already at the bar will say anything to get a drink. Leave them alone. Girls in the thick of the dance floor are into either dancing or teasing. It’s very hard to properly game them. The ones kind of in the middle of the two give you the most play.
There are a few downsides to clubs.
1. Too many promotes. Because of this, you get TAXED to get in party.
2. Ignorant hood type dudes. Because of them, there are fights over shoes, drinks, and their girlfriends choosing you. Sometimes even shots fired afterwards…
3. If you’re looking for a lady with good credit and a good job…she might not be here. MOST (not all) women at clubs are younger and/or don’t have degrees. Recent high school graduates and Burger King employees get their night to shine at these places.
This is what I’ve found out thus far. Part 2 concerning the bars and lounges is coming soon.
Play The Game Fair.
Chris
Thursday, April 16, 2009
What Breeds Confidence?
Before I even start, I want you guys to know that I knocked out 4 posts. They’ll be on here soon. I misplaced the other 3 (pretty good ones if I do say so myself) and when I find them, they’ll be up.
Here goes…
Be confident. Be yourself. Just be confident. Just be yourself. Many “relationship” experts have pushed this as advice while PUA gurus have railed against it.
Now I happen to disagree with how some PUAs argue this. They’ll say, “The person you are now isn’t getting you the results you want. Why wouldn’t you want to be someone else?” That’s not my sentiment at all. From what I can remember, I’ve never really had a problem with women. It is my belief that the community is for those intelligent men who want to IMPROVE their success with women. I believe many of you are in that same proverbial boat. The “zero to hero” story sells like crazy, so many PUA gurus sell that. From what I can tell, though, most PUAs are normal guys who just want to get more consistent. Style said it best. Pick up isn’t about being yourself; it’s about presenting your BEST self.
And now on to confidence…
Faking it ‘til you make it can only get you so far. You actually have to have something to be confident about!!! I knew this all along, but it didn’t hit home until my former main lady and I parted ways.
She was great…in every way. Could cook, was good with kids, my family loved her, and she took care of business in the bedroom. The problem was, though, she had serious desertion issues. Men always left. I wasn’t ready for a relationship and she kept pressing for one. She asked me the last time we met up, “Everyone’s always saying be confident. How can I be confident when all the men in my life always leave?” It was crazy…
Think about it though. Rich men are confident because they’re rich. Well endowed men are confident because they’re well endowed. Women naturally love confident men because it’s a shortcut (or supposed to be) for them to figure out which men have something going for themselves.
What can you be confident about? It has to be something. Are you funny? Good at chess? Do you know the episodes of “24” better than anyone else? IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING!!! If you don’t have something, get something. Work out more often, get better at your job at work, or pick that old hobby back up.
Inner game information products have become big business. It’s really not that deep. AA can only really be conquered by doing more approaches. Inner game can only come from inner confidence that’s genuine and coming from a real place. Charisma/confidence/swagger doesn’t just appear out of thin air. If you want it, you have to do something to get it. Achieving small goals or winning little contests are a good start. Now you know without buying inner game eBooks, DVDs, or MP3s. Look at all the money I just saved you ;)
Play The Game Fair.
Chris
Here goes…
Be confident. Be yourself. Just be confident. Just be yourself. Many “relationship” experts have pushed this as advice while PUA gurus have railed against it.
Now I happen to disagree with how some PUAs argue this. They’ll say, “The person you are now isn’t getting you the results you want. Why wouldn’t you want to be someone else?” That’s not my sentiment at all. From what I can remember, I’ve never really had a problem with women. It is my belief that the community is for those intelligent men who want to IMPROVE their success with women. I believe many of you are in that same proverbial boat. The “zero to hero” story sells like crazy, so many PUA gurus sell that. From what I can tell, though, most PUAs are normal guys who just want to get more consistent. Style said it best. Pick up isn’t about being yourself; it’s about presenting your BEST self.
And now on to confidence…
Faking it ‘til you make it can only get you so far. You actually have to have something to be confident about!!! I knew this all along, but it didn’t hit home until my former main lady and I parted ways.
She was great…in every way. Could cook, was good with kids, my family loved her, and she took care of business in the bedroom. The problem was, though, she had serious desertion issues. Men always left. I wasn’t ready for a relationship and she kept pressing for one. She asked me the last time we met up, “Everyone’s always saying be confident. How can I be confident when all the men in my life always leave?” It was crazy…
Think about it though. Rich men are confident because they’re rich. Well endowed men are confident because they’re well endowed. Women naturally love confident men because it’s a shortcut (or supposed to be) for them to figure out which men have something going for themselves.
What can you be confident about? It has to be something. Are you funny? Good at chess? Do you know the episodes of “24” better than anyone else? IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING!!! If you don’t have something, get something. Work out more often, get better at your job at work, or pick that old hobby back up.
Inner game information products have become big business. It’s really not that deep. AA can only really be conquered by doing more approaches. Inner game can only come from inner confidence that’s genuine and coming from a real place. Charisma/confidence/swagger doesn’t just appear out of thin air. If you want it, you have to do something to get it. Achieving small goals or winning little contests are a good start. Now you know without buying inner game eBooks, DVDs, or MP3s. Look at all the money I just saved you ;)
Play The Game Fair.
Chris
Friday, April 10, 2009
Something to Remember
I haven’t forgotten about yall. I know that there are people that read this. I appreciate all of you that do.
Jaylen!!! Cinque!!! What up fam!?!
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is…if you read this, hit me up. I respond. I NEED that feedback (and some comments) to make this blog better and make me better. I told you guys that I haven’t mastered this stuff. I’m a student of the game and I know you all are too.
It’s been a while I know. Life takes you to a lot of places. Just found out that it’s taking me to Argentina for a month in June. It’s not related to pick up (I don’t make any money off this). I’m really starting to believe that you can only serve one master. I have many passions and none of them are improving as much as I’d like them to…maybe that means they’re just hobbies ;)
I say that just so that I can reiterate what I was saying earlier. If you want to get better at this you’re going to have to give up some things. You can’t have it ALL. Few people triple major in college.
Biggest things I have been guilty of in my pick up journey, even now sometimes, is that I read A LOT of material. I like to see what everyone has to say. Much of it seems to be repeating itself and marketed as “new” or “revolutionary”. Whatever. Another thing that I used to do a lot was get too comfortable in the interactions and not escalate. I was just happy that they were having a conversation with me and seemed interested.
YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT PAST THAT!!!
My cousin, a serial entrepreneur of the legitimate kind, always used to tell me that, “Scared money don’t make money”. Without any risk, there is very little reward. Read less pick up material and risk more in the dating scene.
Play The Game Fair.
Chris
Jaylen!!! Cinque!!! What up fam!?!
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is…if you read this, hit me up. I respond. I NEED that feedback (and some comments) to make this blog better and make me better. I told you guys that I haven’t mastered this stuff. I’m a student of the game and I know you all are too.
It’s been a while I know. Life takes you to a lot of places. Just found out that it’s taking me to Argentina for a month in June. It’s not related to pick up (I don’t make any money off this). I’m really starting to believe that you can only serve one master. I have many passions and none of them are improving as much as I’d like them to…maybe that means they’re just hobbies ;)
I say that just so that I can reiterate what I was saying earlier. If you want to get better at this you’re going to have to give up some things. You can’t have it ALL. Few people triple major in college.
Biggest things I have been guilty of in my pick up journey, even now sometimes, is that I read A LOT of material. I like to see what everyone has to say. Much of it seems to be repeating itself and marketed as “new” or “revolutionary”. Whatever. Another thing that I used to do a lot was get too comfortable in the interactions and not escalate. I was just happy that they were having a conversation with me and seemed interested.
YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT PAST THAT!!!
My cousin, a serial entrepreneur of the legitimate kind, always used to tell me that, “Scared money don’t make money”. Without any risk, there is very little reward. Read less pick up material and risk more in the dating scene.
Play The Game Fair.
Chris
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