Monday, January 26, 2009

Making an Extreme Point

This will be a real short one….maybe.

So…I talked about the economics of Black men last post. This one is all about proving that point, sticking true to your standards, and getting what you want from your significant other.

You guys should be a little familiar with Mystery and his system. He’s pretty popular. A big pillar of his method deals with pre-selection. It’s all about actively showing and proving (not telling) that other women want you. Tariq Nasheed is also real big in the relationship arena for black men and women. He says that the most powerful chip someone can have in a relationship is options. I believe that. So what do the guys do that don’t have many options? What if you just want to “prove” that point to the woman you’re dating?

One of my guys that I’m real cool with came up with this thing he does with every woman that becomes his “main” chick. I think he said he came by this trick by accident. It’s very possible because he’s just an asshole by nature. So what is it already?

My boy never forces the issue on anything. He also hates arguing. If you won’t do something, he’ll just get someone else to do it. The first time his “main” chick refuses his sexual advances (granted this is after they have already had sex a few times), he goes into the drawer where he keeps his pornos, grabs the lube, goes downstairs, and takes care of the issue. He doesn’t hide it, he doesn’t parade it either, but he makes sure she knows. He doesn’t put the audio on high, but he listens to it like he normally would. After he’s done, he comes back up with the flick, towel, and lube, puts them away, and lays down with her like nothing happened.

I don’t have to tell you that this messes the woman up right?

In every movie where the woman gets too comfortable with the relationship, she tells the sexually frustrated man to go take of his problem and tosses him some lotion. Every time, the guy just sits there mad, pleads, or, in some better movies, goes out and cheats. He actually never does go masturbate. Now you all know I’m against cheating…and this is a similar situation for guys playing the game with only one player on the team.

Why not do it?

By this act alone you “show” the woman that she does not determine your happiness and that, even if she was the only woman that would have sex with you, she does not control when you orgasm. Even without options, you have them. And….for the men that do have a few, it really drives the point home. “If you won’t get me right, I will. Maybe next time, she will.”

That’s a very powerful statement…all without cheating for you committed-folk.

I’ll have to try this one out.

Play The Game Fair.

Chris

Grinds My Gears

My fellow journeymen…

I understand that we are all on the path to get better and, as such, feel we deserve the best. I understand that. I agree with you. What I don’t agree with, though, is some men and their misunderstanding of a relationship. The ideal relationship, whether fully committed or not, is 50/50. No one puts in more or gives more to the relationship than another.

CHEATING IS NOT PLAYER, PIMPISH, OR SMOOTH!!!

Misleading a woman is the exact opposite. You are lying to a woman in order to get what you want. Lying in court is perjury. Lying on an application is small scale fraud. Lying on your company’s books could land you in prison for years. So what would make anyone think that lying to someone you sleep with is any different?

An open relationship is player. Having three or four fb’s that know that they’re not the only one is pimp-ish. Hell, being able to stay undefined with a woman for a long period of time is even a little smooth. Lying is out-right wrong. It makes you look weak. Little boys hide and break the rules. A man will be upfront about the situation (not blunt…there’s a difference).

A great rule of thumb to know if you’re being a stand up guy in your relationships is how many of your ex’s are still cool with you. Think about it….

Also…listen to Musiq Soulchild. Often, he isn’t saying “I want only you” in his songs. He just has a way of letting women know what he wants in a relationship.

Play The Game Fair.

Chris

Success (WR 3)!!!!

Last weekend I took this show on the road. I won’t tell yall where I was, but I will tell you all that I love women with that “Naw’lins” accent.

I have to tell you guys that it went very, very well. Who knew? Honestly, I’ve only been doing this for three weeks. Each time I gain more of an insight into dating/courting dynamics. I’m really starting to put this stuff together. It’s great. I had one woman that was pretty much chasing me around the club. I also got many women to the point of exchanging contact info (I didn’t because all these people are hours away from me).

This place was more of a bar or lounge compared to a club. I am really noticing a difference in how people act in those different setting. A post is coming about the contrasts after I do a little bit more research on the subject.

All the openers went over well. The talking points worked well, as were the disqualifiers (talking points that actively show a disinterest in the woman you want to game). I have to transition my stories a better because they seemed a little forced. One of my new goals is to get the women I approach to the point where they are trying to give me their number.

Oh yeah…few things before I go:

1. There will always be a little anxiety before you “turn on” for the night. It happens.
2. Women aren’t going to kill you for approaching.
3. The rewards for this hard work will be worth it (I believe…)
4. Women aren’t better at game; they’re just more experienced (credit Mystery). Think about it. Men have to get out there and approach to talk to women. Good looking women have to deal with men no matter what. They deal with men by just going through life….go out there and get that experience!!!!!

Play The Game Fair.

Chris

Friday, January 23, 2009

The Economics of Black Men

I just had to put this one out there. I had to do this for two reasons. The first is for all the black men out here that keep disrespecting themselves by dating women that disrespect them (the man) and themselves. Why are you jumping through hoops, falling all in love with women who don’t love themselves? Does she eat healthy, work out, or have any set goals with a plan to achieve them? If she doesn’t have any of those…does she have something that she enjoys doing (excluding shopping and having sex) that she is trying to improve upon? If not, you have to do better. Think about it. When you were not getting with any women what did you do? You did something different (or got your life together) and you were able to date again. How is she going to get better if you don’t let her know that what’s going on is not acceptable? You can do so by leaving OR just letting her know. If you don’t, YOU ARE HINDERING HER. Make her want to be better. You’re out here trying to get better (you should).

The second reason I had to do this is because…hold on. I need a disclaimer. Beyonce is a great singer. She’s becoming a very successful businesswoman. She has more money than me and she is definitely the top black woman in the music industry right now.

That said…

I am SO SICK of these women who are usually overweight, under-employed or unemployed, in the club talking so reckless to men when a Beyonce song comes on. Many of them should be grateful a good man is trying to get at them…but they lose out on the opportunity. Which leads me to my point of the day.

Before I start, please know that I base this idea of Tariq Nasheed’s work. We have to value our penises. Dollarize it and it’ll really hit home. Because we are all men and we take care of our children, the BARE-MINIMUM (of course we’ll do more) we will do is pay child support. I used my state as an example and ran the numbers as conservative as I could. If you make around $20k a year and the woman you lay down with makes $20k also (how often do you make exact same income really), you’ll pay $269 per month. Times that by twelve months out the year and eighteen years and you’ll find out that your penis (or your seed) is worth over $58k. Congrats. Now is the woman that you’re laying down with worth your 58 g’s?

Don’t get me wrong guys. There are good women out there. Good women are indeed hard to find…please believe that. But if you’re a good dude, you come across your fair share of good women. GOOD MEN ARE SO MUCH HARDER TO FIND!!! The “Black in America” special on CNN suggested that black women start dating outside the race because the outlook for black men didn’t look good.

So…the economics of it all. Supply and demand. Demand for a good brother is high. Supply of good brothers is low. What does that mean to you? The price of a good brother just went up. Congrats again. Due to hard times, you can date women above your level (if that level even exists). Black women will have to work harder to be with you. Also, you can get away with more. I ask that you don’t take it too far though. Black men have a bad enough reputation. To the brothers that don’t have it all the way together yet…if you’re in school, working a not-so-good job, still looking for a job, you’re in luck. Just keep improving, working at doing you, and keep your integrity. I’ll guarantee she’ll work with you.

Until next time…

Play The Game Fair.

Chris

Another Important Lesson (WR 2)...

You thought I dropped out? Didn’t you? Admit it…you thought I dropped out? Never. Any who, you could say that I have been THOROUGHLY swamped at the office. They’re killing me…I’m finishing my blog posts on the same day I’m going out. New research…fun stuff. I look forward to it.

That said…

So you want to know what I’ve been doing and how last weekend went I suppose? You remember that I was sort of bitching about how I went out alone, I was in a new city, my dog died, etc…I can tell you now that it is very much so better to go out alone. A bad wing will hold you back in the worst of ways.

We (my wing and I) got to the spot around 11pm. It was a good group of women in the place. I was, to no surprise, very excited. Practice does make perfect and I did plan to practice. I left my boy so I could mingle. He’s not really out trying to improve like that and he is extremely shy to boot. While I’m out working the room, at 11:31pm I get a text from this man. He wants to leave. I couldn’t believe it. He said that he would walk home, but he is a good friend (and it was like negative two degrees outside), so I took him home at midnight. Came back and couldn’t get back inside the venue…oh well.

Saturday was my night to work on my overall people skills. I hung out with COMPLETE strangers and won them ALL over. I want to say it was ninety percent natural game. I used some comfort stuff, but mostly it was me just keeping my mouth running, cracking jokes, and making things pleasant. I know we’re all trying to learn techniques to efficiently date the types of women we want, but, honestly, I believe we also have to learn how to just relate to people.

Mystery, the man who started pick up on the path it is on, once said that we should treat all sets (groups we talk to) as if we’re just networking and building our social circle. Do that. Meet new people just because. Make conversation without having some type of aim all the time. I believe it makes everyone better in the process.

Play The Game Fair

Chris

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

So Lonely at the Top

Somebody is probably going to be mad at this post. At some point, after they’re done being mad, they’ll actually think about what I’m saying…


If you look at the most successful men in the world, most of them are single, divorced, or very, very late marriers. Forbes Top 12 Richest Americans had a lot of people whom inherited money. After taking them out, it’s half and half. Lawrence Ellison and Michael Bloomberg are divorced. Paul Allen is single. Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, and Michael Dell are married. Donald Trump has been divorced a lot. Jay-Z finally settled down. European kings always had mistresses. African kings usually had more than one wife.
Why do I say all this?


Maybe a “trophy” wife is just that. She’s just there to remind you of all your achievements…or maybe where you started at. A lot of singers, rappers, athletes have traded in their “down chicks” for supposed higher class women. Once men reach a certain level of success, not only do you not have peers in your field, but can you really have a better half when you’re doing so well yourself? Pimps have a lot of women, but from what I understand they are very lonely. They can’t ever let the hoes know what they’re really thinking. They can’t let anyone get too close. Founding puas who have gotten very good at what their skills find it so easy to get what they want from women…I don’t know if they actually get to KNOW the women anymore. The courtship is more an equation to be solved compared to an interaction.


There’s a saying that you can lose a lot of money chasing women, but you’ll never lose women, chasing money. Yeah, you’ll always have women…but what if you lose THE WOMAN (if you believe “the one” exists).


When guys get married, it’s because they’ve found the right girl and they “settle” down. Did anyone catch the terminology? The subtle undertones of “settling” when getting married? Winners don’t settle. They go after what they want. They’re aggressive and ambitious. When they want to make a $1 million this year, they don’t “settle” for $80k.


I don’t want to discourage anyone from getting married. I want to be married one day (even though I desire a family with kids more than being actually married), I just don’t feel like men should compromise their goals to do so. I just want to warn guys out there trying to get better at the game. You WILL come across a lot of good women while improving out there. Will you pass up your possible soul-mate or will you “settle” down? Serious question to ask yourselves…


Play The Game Fair.


Chris

Ggggrreat!!! (Weekend Recap 1)

So…

I feel like Tiger. Tiger Woods that is. In the long arduous journey for the most correct and efficient way to get at black women, I knew there would be some bumps along the way. Tiger Woods was already winning large golf tournaments when he decided to change his game. He knew it would make him better in the long run. Now, in the short run he definitely got worse. Many thought he had fallen off permanently. That’s when that hard work he put in started to pay off…then he started winning again. Those same critics that were complaining started singing his praises again. That’s where I feel I am right now. Right on the verge of a breakthrough.

Let me explain. The nights out last weekend weren’t THAT bad. It’s just that I definitely noticed what obstacles I have to overcome to get where I want to be. That’s a good thing. I’m one step closer.

I sort of cheated you guys on Friday. It was my fraternity’s Founder’s Day and I pretty much hung out with the guys. I did my social research at a house party that we went to. So many insights just from that party alone. SOCIAL CIRCLE GAME IS SO EASY!!!! Getting with a woman that knows you through school, work, or even through other friends puts you so far ahead in the process. Most of the work is done for you. Is it no wonder that most of the women we have in our lives come from these avenues?

I worked some of my conversational pieces out to make sure they would go over well, saw if I could get any of the women at the party attracted to me, and then chilled out. Why did I do this? Social circle game would be cheating the process right now. I’m not even going to mess with it. Maybe I’ll hang out with some of the women I meet that way, but, for the experiment’s sake, I have to keep much of that to a minimum.

Saturday night I wanted to see what I was made of. I went to a city I’m not from, to a club I’ve never been to, to throw game to women by myself (with material I never tried out). Did I sink or swim? I survived. More sinking than swimming, but I picked up valuable information. I was gaming at a rather hood club. The whole situation was pretty crazy. I’ll have to write a post later regarding how to game in a hood club versus a lounge/bar/grown and sexy affair versus a predominantly white bar or club.

3 BIG Obstacles I Observed:

1) The Music

The music is EXTREMELY loud. The pua mantra of, “Just talk louder” just doesn’t seem as feasible here. You would be literally yelling at the top of your lungs, while still trying to look confident and relaxed AND STILL she most likely won’t hear you. I might just have to resort to speaking up, but there has to be another way. Also, it’s hard to dominant a conversation with the pecking (whispering in each other’s ears) back and forth. I think I’ll have to do something bold in order to have her willing to go in private with me as soon as possible. That way, I can work my conversational magic. This kind of messes up part of the traditional pua game plan though. Through conversation, you try to woo her by impressing her friends and they, essentially, giving her to you through approval. If she can’t hear what you’re saying, how will her friends?

2) Fights

Let’s be honest. Some black people just don’t know how to behave. I remember cats I used to hang out with that went to clubs with every intention on fighting SOMEBODY (actual person irrelevant). In pua language this is called a “state-break”. For example, if you’re really vibing with a woman, most likely she is emotionally engaged with what’s going on. If a fight breaks out, the logical mind kicks in. Where are my girlfriends? Are these fools armed? Who is this dude that keeps talking to me (you)? Get what I’m saying…it’s hard to do what you’re trying to when folks are being ignorant.

I’ve never got fighting the club anyway. All these women in the club…and you wanna put your hands on a man? I digress…

3) Time-span/Tolerance

If you go to a hood club, most if not all, the women are going to be a little hood. I think that’s something that we can all agree upon. Most of those women are used to being approached a certain way and are comfortable with it. I don’t want any of you all coming at women the same way everyone else does, but I will say this. I believe, in those situations, a aspiring pick up artist may have to be more direct or shorten his routine in order to get to the close (number or taking out of the club) quickly.

Overall, my interactions this weekend went well. There were many times where I just wanted to get at them the way I’m comfortable, but I didn’t…I’m looking at the long term. I’m going to have to continue to push myself if I want to win these golf tournaments (or win over high quality women).

Play The Game Fair

Chris

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Promise

Okay guys,

This is how we’re going to start off. I have to keep some type of standards and I need to put them out there so you guys can hold me to them. So here they are…the Covenants of the Black PUA Promise.

1. Since I am not an expert or a guru, I promise yall I’m not going come out with any info product and try to push it on you guys GUARANTEED for a year (I don’t know after that (haha) ).

I might show you all some other people’s work that I like, but I’m not directly selling you anything until I feel like I have an actual grasp, concept, and mastery for what I’m doing.

2. I’ll have at least one field report and one article for you guys to read per week.

Hopefully the field reports will help you guys get a grasp of how things can go. Also, we might be able to figure out together what I’m doing right or what I’m doing wrong. The article will be related to black men and dating, but it may also be on whatever moves me. Be prepared…you might not like what I have to say.

3. I’m going to be in somebody’s club at least twice a week.

I’m a busy man. It’s a recession and I have to find a real job…the one I have now doesn’t pay enough. Social circle gaming (hollering at girls you meet through other people) is too easy. I’m going to be out there grinding for you all and myself. I’ll let you guys know if I do any day game also.

4. No lying.
Other than what my name really is, I’m not gonna mislead you guys. I’m going to be all the way 100 with yall. The fact that you guys don’t know who I am will encourage me to tell the truth. You all won’t know who I am anyway.

I think that’s it. Now you all know.

Play The Game Fair.

Chris

For The Ladies

Alright,

I don’t know how big this blog is going to get or if this post will ever get read…but for the one (if it’s only one) woman that comes across this and thinks it is misogynistic or degrading to women, objectifying women, etc…THIS IS FOR YOU.
I have 2 sisters, I am a semi-mama’s boy, and I love my grandmothers to death. I pride myself on being a gentleman, but the key word is MAN. When I say that, I mean that I have wants, needs, and will go about attaining those wants and needs in an honest, genuine way.

I don’t encourage men to lie. I am totally against it. What am I proposing is that men put their best feet forward and display the best parts of their personalities to you. The “routines” I suggest aren’t to be sneaky or manipulative, but to prevent men from coming at you with weak game and (mainly) to keep those men focused on the interaction with you…compared to what he’s going to say next.

IF YOU OBJECT TO MY OPINIONS…I SUPPORT THEM FULLY. I INVITE YOU TO PROVE ME WRONG.

Play The Game Fair.

Chris

I openly take criticism…email me at theblackpua@gmail.com with any other concerns. We can talk about it.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Different Dynamic...

Okay…
I don’t know if this has been addressed yet, but I will. This is the situation. This is my hypothesis and as I have told you all, you are welcome to challenge me on whatever I put up. That is what the posts are for (and that’s also why you all have my email address). Black women and black men do have a slightly different game they play as far as courtship. I will jump around a lot on this post, but stay with me and I promise it’ll all make sense in the end.

Black men are stereotyped to all be players (to some dogs) with big penises and no problems with women. Funny thing is, though, black males inclination to sexual prowess (some of you guys are still lacking) was actually used long ago as an argument that blacks weren’t human. I guess the thought was that bulls and horses also have bigger penises…I digress. I lost my virginity at 16, while many of those I grew up “became men” around 13. Yes, these boys lost their virginity to black girls. I don’t believe that this is due to “black” sexual promiscuity though. Stay with me…

As a general rule, the wealthier you are, the later you keep your innocence. Think about it. Child labor and children soldiers usually come from very impoverished countries. They also start families earlier. On the other end, the Kennedy’s of the world will go to private schools, then to Ivy Leagues, and then to the family’s or friend-of-the-family’s business to (finally) work.

I’m don’t like hating on those who have wealth. Someone at some point had to have made that money. Hopefully, they made it through hard work. Those with the “silver spoons”, so to speak, just don’t have the obstacles to overcome that many do. That said, the percentage of blacks in poverty in relation to whole is higher than for whites. Maybe that’s why we “mature” faster than our white counter-parts.
Next thing…

Black people in general just have a shorter tolerance for everything. Its’ just the truth. It’s no surprise that black women would be the same. Some of the games or openers traditional puas use just don’t work. I’ve tried them. They have to be a little more grounded. I have had some success with a couple of them and I’ll share that stuff at a later date (be patient). So just know that too many personality tests or “just imagine…” exercises is bad. Also, this very important!!! Many pua’s advocate pushing for the kiss or make-out with the woman. This is where cultures collide. It has been my experience that AMERICAN (black women from Europe or Africa may be different) consider kissing VERY EXTREMELY INTIMATE!!! I’ve met some women that don’t kiss when they have sex…if you can believe that. The goal, though, of the make-out is to continue escalating the intimacy and comfort until you can become sexual with the woman. I’m still looking for comfort/intimacy equivalents to the make-out for black women. So far, what I have come up with is at house parties, “grown-and-sexy” affairs, professionals hang outs, getting the woman to dance with you is close. It’s intimate, but acceptable. From a social standpoint, a black woman can’t be caught kissing or making out with a complete stranger. Her friends won’t let her live that down.
That’s all I have for now.

Play The Game Fair.

Chris